After dinner went about the same as the night before, Kurgm woke up groggy. He was hardly in the mood to do anything, but he dragged himself out of bed anyway. For the first time in many years, he contemplated not going to temple.

No matter what happens, the temple is how we stay grounded. Olmgra reminds us that every day can be bright and shining. All we have to do is try.

The thought of his mother made him smile, even if only for a moment. A scream echoed around his head, but faded away as he started moving through his morning routine. Wash. Dress. Gear. Bag. He made sure he had everything in case Master Ekla decided to ambush him again.

He liked the Sun Welcoming Ceremony. True to his mother’s words, it always made him feel like anything could happen. Even if everything always went wrong after that, he never gave up hoping. Maybe today would be different.

After they welcomed the sun, someone called to him.

“Apprentice Kurgm.”

Oshal made his way over to Kurgm, greeting several people on the way.

“I’m sorry about last night,” he said. “How are you doing?”

“Better, thank you.” Kurgm was a little surprised to realize that he meant it. “You?”

“I’m alright. Is it alright if I join you for breakfast?”

“Of course.”

They walked to the great hall together. Oshal tapped his way through the corridors. Apprentices were converging on the great hall.

“Is it hard to get around in crowds?” Kurgm asked, watching the steady stream of people entering the great hall ahead of them.

“Not really. I can sense where everyone is, so it’s actually easier.”

“Hi, Oshal,” a girl said.

“Hello, Apprentice Minem. Are you still going to the forest today?”

“I am. I’m pretty excited.”

“Have fun.”

“Thanks!”

Kurgm leaned down to Oshal. “Who was that?”

“Apprentice Minem. She’s an apprentice druid a little younger than my sister. Today’s the first day she gets to explore the forest.”

“Hey, Oshal!”

Oshal turned and raised his hand, and another boy slapped his palm as he walked past.

“Hello, Apprentice Parom. How are things at the Temple of the Known Shadow?”

“Settling down after the Ceremony of Approaching Dark, thanks for asking. Have a good one!”

“You too.”

“Apprentice priest?” Kurgm asked.

“In the Temple of the Known Shadow. I like it there. I never feel like I’m missing anything.”

They sat down together with the others.

“Good morning, everyone,” Oshal said. “How is everyone this morning?”

“It’s too early!” Cremwa whined. “How am I supposed to get my beauty sleep if they make me wake up this early?”

“Can you not complain for five minutes?” Demndun asked. “Or is that too much to ask for the Great Cremwa?”

Kurgm pressed his lips together to hold back a laugh.

“How was the ceremony?” Zifor asked them after the officers arrived and breakfast started.

“It was nice,” Oshal said. “You should come back some time. I think you’d like it.”

“Sounds like fun,” Cremwa said. “Waking up before the sun comes up every day.”

“No one asked you, Cremwa,” Demndun said.

“I might go back,” Zifor said.

“Don’t your parents still go there?” Muwen asked. “They’ll probably hug you and get all mushy.” He wrapped his arms around himself. “‘Oh Zifor, our little pumpkin wumpkin, we missed you so much! Mwah! Mwah!’”

Zifor punched him amidst a chorus of giggles. Kurgm smiled, trying to get along, but he didn’t think it was that funny. Maybe it was because he didn’t have parents? But Oshal was smiling, so maybe it was just Kurgm.

Maybe he didn’t fit in with them.

He glanced over at Roshil and Aonva. The former was chatting away to the latter, who had her head buried in a book.

Must have an exam coming up.

Knowing Aonva, she’d already read the same book three times, and only then because she hadn’t had the time to read it a fourth. Why was it so much easier to talk to her than his new friends? Even Roshil and Sirshi were easier to talk to. At least he understood them well enough, apart from Roshil’s blatant disregard for the rules.

Oshal nudged him.

“Stop staring,” he said so no one else could hear.

Kurgm didn’t know how Oshal knew he’d been staring, but he tried to focus on the conversation around him. He barely followed any of it; they were talking about something from before they had all become apprentices.

“It might be nice to see the neighborhood again,” Demndun said. “Remember Old Lady Domna? She used to leave fresh baked cookies on the window sill, and didn’t mind if a few went missing.”

“I don’t want to go back,” Muwen said. “Half the grownups would yell at me for something I didn’t do.”

“At least,” Zifor said, “something they can’t prove that you did.”

If Kurgm didn’t know Master Ekla or Aonva, he’d have thought everyone broke the rules without a second thought. Sirshi and Roshil certainly didn’t care. Oshal usually didn’t, though. At least it wasn’t just him this time.

After breakfast, Master Ekla told him to take some time off before going to class. He walked through the corridors, then through the door to the Temple of the Rising Sun. He saw Sirshi disappear into the back with Master Moudren. For a moment, he wondered if talking to Sirshi would make him feel better, but she was busy, so he walked through the door on the other side of Olmgra’s statue. He bowed on his way past, then went to the Meditation Chamber.

With his troubles shut on the other side of the door, he knelt before the smaller statue of Olmgra.

“A knight can help people. So why can’t I? I can’t fit in with anyone. I can’t make friends. I… I had friends. Well, a friend. But I don’t think she wants to talk to me anymore. I made a mistake. Now I don’t know what to do. I tried fitting in somewhere else, but it’s not working. I can’t make other friends.”

He thought of Demndun and how nice she always was to him. He wanted to talk to her, but then Cremwa kept interrupting. He didn’t want to pull Demndun away from her other friends, and he couldn’t get along with them. That left no one.

“I could never make friends before. Master Ekla worked me pretty hard, so I could never get to dinner. She stopped last year, and it was nice for a while, getting to have friends. But then everything went wrong. Roshil enchanted Aonva, but Aonva still wanted to be friends with her, and my uncle said people like that don’t change. Either of them. When Oshal introduced me to Demndun, I thought that’d be better. But now I realize I don’t fit in with them either. I’m just alone. I don’t fit in anywhere.”

Kurgm sat alone with his thoughts for a time. Class would be starting soon, so he stood up, hoping Olmgra would send him some sort of sign. As far as he could tell, she was waiting for him to figure it out.

“Thank you for listening.” After bowing again, Kurgm turned and left.

Before he left the temple, he bowed again to the statue of Olmgra.

Make today a bright day.

Kurgm wanted to, but he didn’t know how anymore.

Hurried footsteps announced Sirshi’s walk through the temple.

“Hello, Sirshi.”

“Running late, can’t talk.”

Kurgm glanced at the clock, and realized he too was running behind.

He ran to catch up to Sirshi.

“Class?” he asked.

“Yeah.” They both kept a quick pace going through the corridors, careful not to run. “You?”

“Same. Didn’t realize the time.”

They got to the north tower and went to their respective rooms. Kurgm rounded up his things, then nearly ran out the door. Sirshi left just after him.

“Sirshi, do you ever have trouble making friends?”

“No, I have trouble getting rid of friends.”

“What?”

“I have too many friends.”

Kurgm frowned. He’d only ever seen Sirshi with Roshil and Aonva.

“How many friends do you have?”

“I don’t know, three maybe?”

Their boots skidded on the floor as they turned a corner.

“How is three too many friends?”

“They keep asking me if I want to do things. Or telling me about their problems. Most of the time, I just want to be left alone.”

“Why?”

“I like being alone.”

I wish it were that easy.

They separated after going through the door to the school. Kurgm kept thinking about what Sirshi had said. It wasn’t that easy. He couldn’t stop wanting to have friends. He’d gotten so used to it over the past year.

He sat down in class and tried to concentrate on schoolwork, but the idea that he didn’t have a choice stuck. Maybe it was his only option. Maybe he just had to get used to not having friends.

#VolumeThree #FittingIn

That afternoon, Master Ekla drilled him on focusing his ki again. He didn’t mind, since it was the only part of being a knight that he could ever get right.

When she was satisfied that he could recover his senses well enough, she stopped them for the day.

“Something on your mind?” she asked. “You’ve been more down than usual.”

Kurgm remembered that Master Ekla, while primarily a master knight, was also a master weaver. And master druid, so she could probably smell misery on him or something.

“Did… did you have trouble making friends?”

“No.”

“Oh.” Kurgm should’ve expected that answer. Master Ekla was good with people. She was good with everyone. Every problem they had to solve, she not only knew the answer, but how to phrase it so people would listen. When he was younger, Kurgm remembered seeing her with Lord Velal mostly, but there must’ve been plenty of times when she was out with the hundreds of friends she must’ve had.

“I didn’t try. I used to have a friend, but when I was accepted as an apprentice and he wasn’t, we grew apart. I didn’t have a lot of time to spend with him, and my father drove me to work harder than everyone else. Even when I spent time with the other apprentices, we never connected. So I didn’t worry about it.”

That sounded more like him. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t seem to understand Demndun’s friends. If it weren’t for Oshal, he didn’t think he’d get along with any of them.

“Don’t do what I did,” Master Ekla said. “You have friends.”

“I guess.”

“Skipping over whatever happened between you and Apprentice Aonva, who I’m sure wouldn’t mind seeing you again, what about Apprentice Demndun? She seems nice.”

“When we’re alone, it’s fine. I can sort of talk to her, but when we’re with her friends, it’s impossible. I can’t understand them. They’ve been friends since they were children, and I can’t fit in with them.”

He didn’t want to mention the potential breaking of rules. They hadn’t said they did, but they had implied it. It wasn’t right to blame someone without evidence, and he didn’t have any.

Master Ekla motioned for him to sit down on the ground. She did the same after he had.

“I knew a girl once who grew up without any friends. She had people who loved her, but she couldn’t fit in with anyone her own age. Then she met another girl who also had trouble fitting in. Now the two are best friends, practically inseparable.”

“But I don’t have anyone like that.”

“You’re right. You don’t.”

“Great pep talk.”

“But that doesn’t mean you can’t keep trying. If this group of people isn’t right for you, then maybe you need to find another one. Or, if you really like Apprentice Demndun, then ask her to spend more time with you. I can ask Master Silbrom to let her have time off with you, but you have to ask Apprentice Demndun first.”

“We sometimes go out to the gardens,” Kurgm said. “We go to one of the moonlit gardens sometimes and just talk for a while.”

It wasn’t always easy to find something about which they could talk. It’d been easier with Aonva. Almost any topic, especially academics, would get Aonva talking. She was a wealth of information about the court, dragons, history, the temples. Almost anything.

“Do that, then.” Master Ekla stood up. “Like I said, don’t be like me. Go out, make friends, and have a life. I didn’t have any of that, but you can.”

Kurgm stood up and gathered his things. “Thank you.”

Master Ekla nodded. “You’re welcome.” She waved him away. “Now go away.”

Kurgm smiled to himself as he left the practice room and headed to dinner. When he arrived, he was lucky enough to find Demndun already there, without the others.

“Hello,” he said as he sat down.

“Hi.” She averted her eyes for a moment, then looked back at him. “I wanted to ask you something.”

“Me too. What’s yours?”

“Would you like to go to the gardens tonight?” she asked. “I know it’s cold, but you asked yesterday, so I thought you’d like to go again?”

Kurgm smiled and nodded. “That’s what I was going to ask.”

Demndun lit up. “Great! Right after dinner, before it gets too dark?”

“Yeah.”

Even with the others there, dinner flew by. Kurgm walked with Demndun to the north tower to grab heavier clothes. Kurgm waited for Demndun to come out. When she did, she had on a matching scarf, hat, and mittens.

“Don’t laugh,” she said. “Old Lady Domna made them for me. They’re really warm, and I get cold easily.”

“She sounds nice,” he said as they started walking.

“She is. She used to look after all of us when our parents were away.” They stepped through the door to the gardens into the cold. “What about you? You never talk about what it was like growing up in the castle.”

They trudged through fresh snow on their way to the closest of the moonlit gardens. Druids walked passed them on their way to the druid’s sleeping area, which sat next to the moonlit garden. They walked through the gap in the evergreen trees to find it deserted.

“My parents died when I was little,” he said. Something flickered around in his head for a moment, but vanished before he could find it. “I was raised by Our Lord True Knight.”

“I’m sorry. You never said.”

“I don’t like to talk about it. I do like hearing about all the adventures you had.”

So long as they don’t involve breaking rules, although I think they all do.

They sat down on a bench. Demndun slid closer to him.

“It’s still cold,” she said.

He started to protest that it wasn’t, but Demndun wrapped her arm around his, and his mind stopped.

“That’s better,” she said.

She rested her head on his shoulder. Slowly, he rested his head on hers. Maybe he didn’t fit in with her friends, but that didn’t matter. He fit in just fine with her.

#VolumeThree #FittingIn

Ekla walked through the court. Even though she’d been a master druid for several months, she still wasn’t used to not needing a cloak to keep her warm.

You can draw heat from the earth. She has plenty to spare.

She passed the gardens and wondered about Kurgm. She wasn’t sure about his new friends, but if he was happy for now, she’d keep a good thought.

Following the river, Ekla arrived at the cemetery and pushed the gate open. She nodded to the groundskeeper on her way past, making her way through the tombstones. In other cities, more prominent members of society got bigger, more elaborate tombstones. But in the court, everyone was equal, so officers and common folk alike where treated the same.

There’s nothing common about them, Apprentice Ekla. Everyone is extraordinary in their own way.

She found her way to one grave in particular.

Lady Enrakal Mother, Wife, Sister, Friend Protecting Olmgra’s Kingdom as she protected ours

“My Lady.” Ekla bowed respectfully, then knelt down in front of the grave. “I know I haven’t been by to visit in a while. I’ve been busy.”

That’s because you’ve always worked too hard.

“Kurgm is doing well. He’s struggling to make friends. I wish I could say he was talking with Apprentice Aonva again, but I don’t know where they stand, or what happened. He won’t talk about it. Sometimes I see him looking at her like he wants to talk to her again, but something’s stopping him. He’s getting friendly with Apprentice Demndun, though. Lady Emgard says she’s sweet, and I think that will be good for him. I still wish he’d get back with Apprentice Aonva, but that’s because she reminds me a lot of myself at her age. I don’t think they were ever a couple, but I could see it starting. Then your brother happened and…”

Ekla stopped herself before she got too far. She couldn’t prove that Amnadm had had anything to do with Kurgm not talking to Aonva anymore, but the timing couldn’t have been a coincidence. Amnadm was like a tornado; he swept in and wrecked everything in his path, especially where Kurgm was involved.

“He really wants to make you proud. I did too, when I was his age. I know I say it every time I visit, but thank you for believing in me. For seeing past what my father wanted from me.”

Her mind drifted away for a moment, back to another time. She didn’t let it linger there long.

“He’ll make a good knight one day. He’d never believe it now, but I know he will. Lord Velal did a good job raising him. He still checks in on Kurgm sometimes. Better than—” She stopped herself before making another remark about Amnadm.

Kurgm’s only living relative, and he can’t be bothered to write to him. Fine. It’s fine. It’s probably for the best.

She took several deep breaths to calm herself down.

“They’re both doing great.”

And how are you doing, Master Ekla?

“I’m working on my priest apprenticeship. Lady Runslo says I’m almost finished, but she’s been saying that for months, so I think she just says that. I’ve learned a lot about the different religions. I’m still not going to join a temple, but I’ve learned they do a lot more than I realized.”

She smiled for a moment, but she could feel Lady Enrakal’s stare on her, looking straight past her facade. Ekla could never lie to her.

“Sometimes I feel like I’ve got to look out for three apprentices. I know Lord Grund looks out for Apprentice Roshil, but I feel responsible for her. And I want to know that my father didn’t do too much damage to Sirshi. I thought… I thought if they gave each other a chance, they’d come to some sort of understanding. I thought I could give him a chance, but he threw it in Sirshi’s face. I want to know that telling our father how she was doing won’t hurt her anymore.”

Ekla took a breath and reminded herself that neither Apprentice Aonva nor Apprentice Oshal needed her to look out for them. Neither did Sirshi or Roshil, but Ekla felt like it was her responsibility. She understood what they were all going through, and she wanted to help them through it.

Apprentice Ekla, you shouldn’t work so hard. You’ll make the rest of us look bad.

Ekla let out a quick laugh, then straightened up. Sometimes, she truly believed that Lady Enrakal was listening. Even if she wasn’t, Ekla could imagine what she’d say.

“When Lord Velal took charge of Kurgm, I could tell it was hard. He tried so hard not to let it show, but I could still see it. The more I remember about it, the more I see it. It’s hard for me too. I keep wishing I knew exactly what to say to make him happy. To see him happy, but I don’t know. He isn’t like everyone else.” She smiled at the grave. “Of course, he’s not. He’s your son.”

Ekla stood up and bowed.

“I should go. I’ve got a lot to do. I’ll keep taking care of him as best I can.”

I know you will. Just make sure you’re taking care of yourself, too.

“Of course, My Lady.”

She bowed again, then bowed to the grave next to hers.

Master Soorgom Father, Husband, Friend A mind such as his doesn’t come by often

Apart from knowing him as “The Brilliant Master Soorgom”, Ekla hadn’t known Kurgm’s father well. Nevertheless, she took time to pay her respects to both his parents.

Ekla turned and started out of the cemetery. A calming feeling came over her. She could hear the sounds of the court not far away, but a peace prevailed inside the cemetery. She walked among the greats of Skwyr Court.

Before she left, Ekla stopped at one last grave. As far as she knew, it was the one grave in the entire cemetery whose occupant had never stepped foot inside the court.

Prenowla Loving Mother and Wife Protecting the innocent to the very end

“I’ll keep your family safe,” Ekla said as she bowed. “I promise.”

#VolumeThree #FittingIn

After the last of the worshipers left the Flower Blooming Ceremony, Sirshi, along with a few other apprentice priests, cleaned up after the ceremony. Sirshi didn’t know any of their names, nor did she particularly care. While Master Moudren was the head priest of Skwyr Court’s temple, other priests served as well, trading off days for the Sun Welcoming Ceremony every morning, and performing other ceremonies, like welcoming newborns into the temple. As such, she occasionally ran into the other priests and their apprentices, but she’d never had to learn the other apprentices’ names. Sirshi considered this a point of pride.

After they were finished clearing the temple and putting everything back where it belonged, the other priests left with their apprentices. Sirshi made her way to Master Moudren’s office, where the woman herself was waiting for her.

Master Moudren smiled and stood up.

“You did a good job today with the Flower Blooming Ceremony,” she said. “When you go on your fifth-year assignment, you will be in charge of the ceremony, and I think you’re well on your way to being prepared for it.”

Sirshi bowed, feeling her face flush a little.

“Thank you, Master Moudren.”

Master Moudren returned to the seat at her desk.

“Did you get along with the other apprentices?”

Sirshi nodded, her mind still on the Flower Blooming Ceremony. She’d managed to stay calm through the entire ceremony, which she thought was an accomplishment, considering neither Roshil nor Aonva had opted to go. Roshil had been worried about the previous year, and Aonva had refused to go without Roshil.

“How are your friends?” Master Moudren asked. “I didn’t see either of them there. I hope Apprentices Roshil and Aonva know they are always welcome in Olmgra’s house.”

“We welcome them,” Sirshi muttered.

“Have other people been causing them problems?”

Sirshi had a clear memory of the previous year. Being nervous about helping with the ceremony, but seeing a crowd of people cast her friends out. She’d wanted to scream at them to get lost, but she was certain that wasn’t okay.

“Yeah, but that’s how people are.” Sirshi felt her temper rising, and tried to keep it in check. “People avoid them at meals, harass them when they think no one’s looking, treat them both like they’re—”

“If either girl is having problems,” Master Moudren said, a frown on her face, “I would hope Our Lord High Artisan or Master Kaernin would be made aware of this.”

“I don’t know. Maybe. I don’t think either of them wants to cause problems.” Sirshi folded her arms. “And neither will tell me who’s giving them problems. I’ll make sure it stops.”

“With a strongly worded lecture, I hope.”

The way Master Moudren said that caused Sirshi to realize she was getting angry again. She unfolded her arms and sat up straight.

“So long as they know that we welcome them here, and that’s all that matters. Moving on, there’s something else I’d like to discuss.”

“Something else I’d like to discuss” sounded like “Something else Sirshi needs to be doing”, which sounded like more work. Had she been forgetting something? Sirshi couldn’t think of anything, but maybe there was something about which she’d forgotten. Her parents had always found something about which she’d forgotten. Not to shout at the table, not to talk at the table, not to show her face when company was over, not to talk back to her parents, not to talk back to her sister, not to talk at all…

“Each temple provides assistance to the community in some way. The priests of Yvgrengher provide access to books and literature, priests of Melndn help people live with fear, and priests of Rendlok assist artisans in construction.”

Sirshi nodded. This all sounded familiar to her. She’d served at each of the temples, even if she had already known where she’d wanted to be.

“I remember.”

“Good. Do you remember what priests of Olmgra are supposed to do?”

“Spread hope in the community.”

Master Moudren smiled, but not like other adults smiled. When they smiled, it was because they were about to load up Sirshi with extra work because she’d made a mistake, or because they were delighted by how miserable Sirshi was about to be. Master Moudren was proud of her. No one else had ever been proud of her for anything.

“Very good. Given that people aren’t your expertise, I wanted to talk about ways in which we can spread hope.”

Sirshi sat and listened as Master Moudren gave her an overview of various ways in which priests spread hope. A lot of it was dealing with other peoples’ problems, assuring them that it wasn’t the end of the world, and that they could keep pushing forward no matter what.

That began to worry Sirshi. She wasn’t any good at any of it. She didn’t like listening to other peoples’ problems, despite often listening to those of Roshil or Aonva. In that matter, she rarely had a choice, apart from moving away from her friends at meals, and she didn’t care enough. She ate and half listened to them talk, knowing that eventually the other would chime in and all Sirshi had to do was agree with something. At least, that’s how it went when Aonva had some sort of problem, usually involving a textbook she’d only read ten times, and was afraid that she needed to read it ten more in order to be prepared.

When Sirshi left that morning for class, she still wasn’t certain about it. But she knew she needed to. It was the responsibility of a priest of Olmgra to spread hope in the community. Why did it have to be that? Why couldn’t their community service have been leaving people in the community alone?

She couldn’t let Master Moudren down, though. She had to start learning how to bring hope to people. One day, she’d be a priest of Olmgra, and that would be part of it.

Unless not being able to meant she couldn’t be a priest.

#VolumeThree #HopeForTheFuture

“Good morning, Sirshi.”

Sirshi was already cleaning up after the Sun Welcoming Ceremony, when Oshal, Kurgm, and another boy she didn’t know came up to her. She thought she’d seen him the day before at the Flower Blooming Ceremony.

“Hi, Oshal,” she said, knowing that if she acknowledged anyone else, Kurgm in particular, they’d start talking and never stop.

“This is Apprentice Zifor,” Oshal said, motioning to his other friend. “Zifor, this is Apprentice Sirshi.”

“It’s nice to meet you!” Zifor shouted.

Sirshi stared at him for a moment. “Sure.”

She returned her focus to sweeping the floor, hoping the others would leave her alone. It wasn’t that she didn’t like Oshal; he could tell when she wanted to be left alone, unlike his sister. She kept talking, but in a way that wasn’t as annoying as everyone else, so Sirshi didn’t mind her as much.

“We’ll let you get back to your work,” Oshal said. “Make today a bright day.”

“You too,” Sirshi replied.

“It was nice to meet you,” Zifor said in a slightly quieter voice than before.

“Sure.”

While Zifor and Oshal left, Kurgm stayed behind. Sirshi sensed he was about to talk to her about something.

“He’s actually really nice,” Kurgm said, motioning behind him. “And doesn’t usually shout like that.”

“Okay.”

“His parents come here every day, and he wanted to try coming back.”

“I don’t remember asking.”

She remembered what Master Moudren had told her the previous day. Did spreading hope mean listening to peoples’ problems? It certainly meant dealing with people. Kurgm was a knight, wasn’t he? Weren’t they supposed to be good at helping people?

Knowing she would regret it later, she asked Kurgm.

“You’re a knight. How do you deal with people?”

Kurgm stepped out of her way as she moved with the broom.

“Well first, I wouldn’t use the words ‘deal with people’. A lot of it’s listening to their problems.”

“Ugh.”

“What? I thought that’s what you did with Roshil.”

“Have you ever tried getting her and Aonva to stop talking?”

Kurgm opened his mouth, but Sirshi wasn’t waiting for an answer.

“It’s pointless. They keep talking to you anyway. Aonva goes on and on about some exam she has, or some work she’s doing, like anyone cares that it’s perfect. I get by just fine with the effort I put in.”

“I’m going to guess that you don’t put in much effort.”

Sirshi shrugged. “I put in what I need to.”

Kurgm didn’t say anything for a moment. That was fine with Sirshi. She continued sweeping the temple while he kept out of her way.

“Doesn’t my sister usually drag you away by now?”

“She’s giving me some time to myself. Not a lot, though.”

“Still trying to figure out why no one likes you?”

“What?”

“Whatever your problem was that you went into the Meditation Room for. Something about not having any friends.”

“Oh, that. Everything’s fine now. Just having some trouble fitting in with my new friends.”

“It’s just as well. Roshil gets annoyed when I mention you, then immediately changes the subject.”

Sirshi realized she’d never thought about why Roshil did that. This was followed by the realization that she also didn’t care why Roshil did that.

“Well, I don’t know why she’d be annoyed. I mean, me and Aonva—”

“Didn’t ask, don’t care.”

Sirshi finished sweeping and walked over to the utility closet to get the cloths to clean the statue.

“See, that’s the wrong attitude to take when helping people.”

“Who said I need to help people? I don’t need to help them, I just need to make them feel better about the future or something. I’m spreading hope.”

“Well, what do you hope for?”

“That this conversation won’t be long.”

Sirshi rubbed the base of the statue with a damp cloth.

“If you push people away, it’s going to be hard to make them feel better about the future. Why not say something like ‘I’m sure it’ll be okay’?”

“I’m sure it’ll be okay,” Sirshi said without a hint of enthusiasm.

“Hm. Needs work. Maybe try smiling?”

Sirshi turned away from the statue and spread her mouth wide, showing her teeth.

Kurgm took a step back.

“I think you’re fine without the smile.”

Sirshi’s face returned to its neutral stance of informing everyone around her to go away.

“What was the point of that?” she asked. “Does that actually work with people?”

“Sometimes. Honestly, I’m not good at this either.”

“I noticed. Are you sure you don’t have knight things to do?”

“No, I’m free for a few minutes.”

“Great. I’m so happy for you.”

“That’s better, but say it like you mean it.”

“What if I don’t mean it?”

“Don’t you want to help people? Isn’t that why you became an apprentice?”

“My parents made me become an apprentice. The only choice I got was my specialization, and they wouldn’t have let me stay a priest if not for my sister.”

“I remember, I was there for that. But Our Lady Exalted Priest must’ve seen something in you to accept your application.”

Sirshi shrugged and turned her attention to a stubborn smudge on the statue’s robe.

“You’d have to ask her. I don’t know why she let me in, but I don’t question it.”

“Maybe you should ask more questions?”

“Here’s one: Don’t you have somewhere else to be?”

“You already asked that. I’m glad that you’re worried about me being late, though.”

Sirshi wondered if Kurgm was intentionally ignoring her tone, or if he really was that bad at picking up social cues. Then again, she wasn’t sure Roshil would notice her tone either. Oshal would probably pick up on it, but he was so sweet that she felt bad snapping at him.

“Why don’t you try practicing on me? Pretend I’m upset about something.”

Sirshi rolled her eyes, then glanced around to make sure Master Moudren hadn’t seen her do that. She sighed, then put down the cloth.

“Be happy.”

“I want to be, but life’s just so tough.”

“Sure it is. Get over it.”

“Well… um… I don’t know if I’m going to be a good apprentice.”

“So what? If people don’t think you’re good enough, that’s their problem. Who cares what they think? Be better than them out of spite. And when you’re the next great master, on your way to an officer, you can turn back to them and laugh at them. And when their children want an apprenticeship, you can say ‘Well, I don’t know if you’re court material. Such a shame that your parents are a complete waste of space that never loved you. Better luck next time.’”

Kurgm stared at her open mouthed. Sensing that he wasn’t going to talk again for a while, Sirshi returned to cleaning the statue.

“It’s a miracle, I’m cured,” Kurgm said with no emotion in his voice. “I’m going to go now. Good luck with everything.”

“Make today a bright day,” Sirshi said, mostly out of habit.

“You too.”

As Kurgm walked out of the temple over the freshly cleaned floor that she’d have to sweep again, Sirshi felt better. She finally had peace and quiet.

Even as she continued her chores, something Kurgm had said bothered her.

Don’t you want to help people? Isn’t that why you became an apprentice?

What did it matter if she wanted to help people? People could help themselves, couldn’t they? Why was it her responsibility to help them? But the thought that dug inside her and made itself at home was the worst of the bunch: If she couldn’t help people, could she still be an apprentice?

#VolumeThree #HopeForTheFuture

Later that day, Kurgm’s words were still in Sirshi’s head. She sat in the library with Aonva and Roshil, with a book about the Temple of the Rising Sun open in front of her. She’d read it before, but she wanted to know if every priest had to be like Master Moudren.

I like Master Moudren. But I’m not her. I can’t be her.

Something poked her arm, and she wrenched it back. She settled down somewhat when she saw it was Roshil that had poked her.

“Something wrong?” Roshil whispered.

“I’m fine,” Sirshi snapped, a little louder than she’d meant to.

“You haven’t complained about being here yet. We’ve been here almost an hour, and you haven’t complained about being here almost an hour.”

“So? I thought it annoyed you when I complained.”

Aonva shushed her, then shrank in her seat when Sirshi glared at her. She turned back to Roshil and found a glare waiting for her.

“What?” Sirshi snapped, no longer bothering to keep her voice down. “I’m fine! I don’t need anyone telling me what to do, or that I’m not a ‘people person’ like every other apprentice. So what if I don’t like being around people. What’s the big deal?”

Roshil and Aonva stared at her. Sirshi glared at them, daring one of them to try lecturing her.

“Master Grund doesn’t like people.” Roshil furled her brow and pressed her lips together, which Sirshi had come to learn was her “thinking face”. “I think he might like me, but I can’t think of anyone else he likes.”

Sirshi eased up her glare. Maybe she should’ve realized that Roshil and Aonva weren’t the lecturing type. An Aonva lecture amounted to a long-winded speech about something Aonva liked, but Sirshi could safely tune those out. Roshil engaged Aonva, so there was no need for Sirshi to pay attention.

Aonva turned her eyes down and closed her book.

“We have to go,” she said. “Roshil and I have class soon.”

“Right,” Roshil said, closing her book. To Sirshi, she said, “We can talk later. Or not, if you don’t want to.”

“Sure,” Sirshi said, not sure to what she was agreeing.

She watched her friends go, then packed up her own book and returned it to the shelf. What had Roshil said about Lord Grund? He wasn’t a people person either. Neither was Master Daktra, now that she thought about it. She hadn’t seen her old master in a while, but he’d been a lot like her when she was his apprentice.

On her way out of the library, Sirshi ran into someone who, unlike Roshil and Aonva, had no problem lecturing her, and frequently did.

“Apprentice Sirshi.”

“Master Ekla.”

Sirshi tried to walk past her sister, but Ekla moved to block her path.

“Would you please follow me?”

Sirshi glared at her sister. She had a feeling this would end up being a waste of her time. The last thing she needed was a lecture from her sister.

“Why?”

“I only want to talk. Please?”

“You always ‘only want to talk’. Next thing I know, I’m getting lectured on not being ladylike, or not upsetting father, or—”

“It’s about what Master Moudren told you a few days ago. I want to help.”

Sirshi opened her mouth to snap at her sister, but she remembered the previous year, and her father’s attempts to get her removed from the temple.

“Fine.”

She followed Ekla through the corridors and into the gardens. The sun shone down on the blooming flowers and fresh grass. Children ran while their parents talked and pretended to keep an eye on them. Occasionally, an adult would shout for the children not to kill each other, or not to put something in their mouths.

Why do people even have children? Sirshi stepped aside before one of the terrors could run her over.

Ekla led her to a bench and sat down. Sirshi sat down beside her.

“Why did you choose to become an apprentice?” Ekla asked.

“Because mother and father made me. Remember? It wasn’t like I had a choice.”

“They aren’t making you anymore. So why stay?”

“Why shouldn’t I? I want to be a priest. Don’t think you can talk me out of it. You were the one that wanted me to stay so badly.”

“Serving the court means serving the community. From what I’ve gathered from Master Moudren, you don’t want that.”

“I’m so tired of people telling me what I want! What I can do! ‘You can’t be a priest because it’s not what’s best for the family.’ ‘You can’t be a priest because you get too angry.’ ‘You can’t be a priest because you don’t like people.’ Why can’t everyone just leave me alone?”

Sirshi got to her feet and started to storm off.

“I want you to be a priest.”

Sirshi stopped and turned on her heel to glare at her sister.

“Why?”

“Because it’s what you want. I only want to know why it’s what you want. If it’s only to spite our father, then that’s not a good reason to stay.”

Ekla’s face was impassive, her tone neutral. Sirshi knew she practiced it. This wasn’t her sister, this was the great Master Ekla talking to her.

“I don’t care what he thinks!” Sirshi stormed back over to her sister. “You know why I want to be a priest? Because Master Moudren cares what I think! So what if I’m not good at it? So what if I make people cry instead of making them feel better? I know all the rites and rituals. I like being in the temple. Why can’t everyone leave me alone and let me stay?!”

Sirshi stormed out of the gardens, ignoring the stares people gave her. Who cared what they thought? She certainly didn’t. She was tired of people telling her what to do, what to think, how to act. So what if she wasn’t good with people? She wasn’t convinced her sister was either, but she got by just fine. Why did everyone have a problem with Sirshi?

#VolumeThree #HopeForTheFuture

Five Years Ago

Sirshi ran through the streets of the court. She squeezed her eyes shut to stop the flow of tears, but nothing she did stopped them. It didn’t matter; no one could see her crying, so no one could tell her to stop it.

All you’ll ever be is an embarrassment to this family!

Sirshi didn’t know where she was going. Far away, where she could have another life, with a family that loved her. Did families love their children? Of course they did; hers loved Ekla. But not her. No one loved her. No one wanted her.

I’m sorry I was born!

So am I!

Her lungs were on fire, her feet were throbbing, and her throat was hoarse from choked back sobs. She tripped and fell. Stones scraped her knees and arms as she landed on the road. She struggled to her feet, then kept running. She wouldn’t stop, not until she was free.

Thunder rumbled overhead, and a sheet of rain dropped out of the sky. Sirshi ran toward the closest open building and took shelter inside.

She didn’t recognize where she was. A statue of a woman in a cloak smiled down on a large room with windows all along one wall. There were a few people inside, bowing to the statue. They hardly spared her a glance on their way out.

She smirked as she wandered farther inside. It was a temple. Her family wouldn’t dare follow her in here. She was safe.

“Are you lost?”

Sirshi spun around and saw the woman from the statue standing in the temple. No, not quite, this woman looked shorter. But her smile looked just like the statue’s. She didn’t smile like other adults. Something was different about her.

“You must be freezing,” the woman said. “I’ll fetch you a towel to get you dried off. Then we can take a look at those scrapes.”

The woman led Sirshi over to a supply closet and took out a towel.

“This should do.” She handed Sirshi the towel. “I’m Master Moudren. What’s your name?”

---

Present Day

Sirshi stood in Master Moudren’s office. Master Moudren herself was sitting quietly, waiting for something, although Sirshi didn’t know what. They’d been silent for almost five minutes. Sirshi knew that because she kept glancing at the clock.

“I spoke with Our Lady Grand Weaver and Master Ekla yesterday,” Master Moudren said at last. “Quite a few people seem to think something is bothering you.”

“I didn’t do anything!” Sirshi shouted. “My sister ambushed me on my way out of the library, and started interrogating me about my apprenticeship! If she has a problem with me, then—”

“I don’t think Master Ekla has a problem with you or your apprenticeship here, so I don’t want to hear about you lashing out at her.”

Sirshi knew by the look Master Moudren was giving her that she wouldn’t be allowed to speak until she’d calmed down, so she forced herself to relax.

“Is there something bothering you?”

Sirshi didn’t want to say anything, but Master Moudren was asking Sirshi’s opinion. She wasn’t assuming anything about her like Ekla did. Master Moudren cared what Sirshi thought.

“I want to be a priest. And I’m so tired of people telling me I can’t be one just because I don’t like being around people! So what? Maybe I’m not good with people! What difference does it make?”

“Apprentice Sirshi,” Master Moudren said, raising her voice to be heard over Sirshi’s rant. “Who is telling you that?”

“First, Kurgm asked me why I was an apprentice at all if I don’t like people, then my sister starts lecturing me and accusing me of only keeping my apprenticeship out of spite, and that’s not true! Just because I don’t know how to help people doesn’t mean I don’t deserve to be a priest! I can do this!”

Master Moudren waited for Sirshi to tire herself out and calm down. After a few minutes of reliving the last few days, Sirshi stopped shouting and calmed down. Even after she finished, Master Moudren remained silent for a few minutes.

“When Our Lady Exalted Priest met with you,” Master Moudren said at last, “she didn’t want to accept your application.”

She immediately held up her hand to stop any outburst from Sirshi.

“Please let me finish before you speak. I promise at no point will I terminate your apprenticeship. I want to explain something to you, and hopefully after that, you will have the answer you’re looking for.”

Sirshi closed her mouth and remained silent.

“She knew we’d met before, and she wanted my opinion. She believed that you were applying to be a priest out of spite for your parents. Knowing you now as I do, and knowing what I do about your parents, I believe she was correct.”

“But—”

The hand went up again, and Sirshi stopped talking.

“But I saw your face when you first walked into the temple. Something inside you changed for just a moment. I knew what you needed was guidance, and that’s what I told her. She assigned you to Master Daktra because the two of you are alike. Neither of you are particularly fond of being around people, and you needed someone who wold take a more hands off approach to your apprenticeship while you learned to trust the court. My insistence was always that you eventually become my apprentice, because I was confident that you already knew where you wanted to be, and that this temple would be the best fit for you.”

Sirshi nodded. Master Moudren had so much confidence in her. Why?

“You’re right. You’re not good with people, and I don’t think you care to be. But as a priest of Olmgra, and I hope one day head priest of your own temple, you will have to talk to people. You will have to listen to them, and you will be expected to give them hope for the future. They will come to you with problems, but I know you can succeed, and do you know why?”

Sirshi shook her head. It all sounded like no one expected her to succeed as a priest, except for Master Moudren.

“Because most of their problems will be because of other people. Whether it be love, family, or friends, other people — not always bad people, mind you — but all the same, other people are often the cause of their problems.”

“Why do they care?” Sirshi asked before she could stop herself.

“And that’s why I know you’ll succeed.” Master Moudren smiled at her. “I’ve heard some of your conversations with your friends. You always ask them that question, and it reminds them to worry more about themselves than other people. It won’t always, of course. Your friends are quite unique.”

Sirshi agreed wholeheartedly with that. Her friends were nothing if not unique.

“But so are you. You have a unique outlook on life, and that’s what you need. It’s not always about fixing problems, it’s about living with them. And in that regard, you’ll do fine.”

Master Moudren stood up from her desk.

“Don’t worry, Apprentice Sirshi. I intend to see that you become a master priest.”

Sirshi bowed to her. Master Moudren was the best. She had known it since that day she’d taken shelter in the Temple of the Rising Sun. If Master Moudren said she could do it, then Sirshi knew she could, too.

#VolumeThree #HopeForTheFuture

One morning, Oshal found himself walking through the corridors of Skwyr Castle with Kurgm and Zifor, on their way to breakfast after the Sun Welcoming Ceremony. He liked that Zifor was going back to the Temple of the Rising Sun, and, based on the warm fuzzy feelings he got from Zifor’s parents, so did they. Even if Zifor was only going because he wanted to talk to Sirshi, although Oshal wasn’t supposed to know that. After a year of learning under Lady Durwey, Oshal still had trouble tuning out the emotions of everyone around him. He didn’t want to eavesdrop on people, but sometimes they were feeling something so strongly that he couldn’t help it.

As they approached the great hall, they came across Roshil and Aonva. They were almost always together, which made Oshal happy. He and his father had both been worried about Roshil making friends, but she was happy with Aonva, and Oshal was happy for her.

“Hello, Roshil,” Oshal said.

The happiness his sister had been feeling vanished like water from a desert. Her world turned gray, and the ground started to shake.

“Hi.”

Oshal’s initial instinct was the assumption that those emotions were directed at him, but he couldn’t imagine that he’d done something. Was she angry about him weaving emotions into her head almost a year ago?

The panic and fear of that day returned to him. Oshal hadn’t dared tried to weave emotion into anyone, even during practice. How could he when it could all go so wrong?

“How are you?” Oshal asked, expanding his reach to everyone else.

The usually nice and slightly passive Zifor was displaying uncharacteristic hostility. As much as Oshal didn’t want to believe it was toward his sister, he knew it was. Everyone was like that around Roshil. He’d hoped Zifor would be better, but the evidence was clear.

While Aonva was terrified, as usual, something different was coming from Kurgm. Something foul, something unpleasant, something that felt an awful lot like guilt. What had he done? Did it involve the reason that Kurgm didn’t talk to Aonva anymore?

“Fine,” Roshil said. “How are you?”

“I’m alright.” Oshal motioned to his friends. “Have you met Apprentice Zifor?”

“No.”

“I see the others,” Zifor said, leaving before he had to say anything else.

“I don’t need to meet him,” Roshil said. “He’s just like everyone else.”

“That’s not fair,” Kurgm said. “Zifor’s—”

“I don’t remember asking your opinion,” Roshil snapped.

The anger inside her burst forth. People ran for shelter. Volcanoes erupted. It all made one thing clear: Roshil was mad at Kurgm.

“Why would you?” Kurgm snapped back. “You don’t care what anyone else thinks. You break the rules regardless, right?”

Oshal found it hard to argue against that. His sister’s relationship with the rules wasn’t a good one. She mostly saw rules as obstacles to overcome, making a problem more challenging to solve. She didn’t just go around breaking rules, though.

“At least I look out for my friends!” Roshil shot back.

“Is that what you call that bracelet you made for Aonva? Looking out for her?”

“You don’t get to talk about her like that!”

“What did I do?”

Aonva felt like a mouse against a lion. Even though Oshal couldn’t see it, he could sense her looking for the exits. She wanted to run and hide as fast as possible, getting out of the line of fire. If his friends cared so much about her, they needed to stop yelling and upsetting her.

“That’s quite enough.” A presence that radiated authority stepped in to stop the shouting match. Master Ekla kept herself between Kurgm and Roshil, acting as a barrier to the war of words. “Whatever this is doesn’t have to be done here. Or at all, for that matter. Both of you, move along.”

Without another word, Roshil entered the great hall, with Aonva behind her. Roshil still radiated anger, which clashed with the fear that came from Aonva. Oshal was confident that together they’d be okay. He didn’t know what was wrong, but Aonva would calm Roshil down.

“Apprentice Kurgm, I expect better of you,” Master Ekla said. “Public disputes don’t need raised voices. Calm heads will always prevail. Learn that lesson now. It will serve you countless times in the future.”

“Yes, Master Ekla.” Kurgm’s voice held a cocktail of emotions. A dash of resentment, a splash of anger, and still what Oshal was sure was guilt. What had happened between him and Aonva? It had upset Roshil to the point of anger. And what was the bracelet Roshil had made for Aonva? Oshal knew there was a lot more to this argument.

“Apprentice Oshal, how are you?” Warmth spread out from Master Ekla, making the flowers grow and the sun shine. It reminded him of his mother.

“Confused, but alright. How are you?”

“Fine.” The sigh that accompanied it told Oshal that the word “fine” didn’t begin to summarize how Master Ekla was feeling. The weather in her mind changed several times before settling back down. Once again, she reminded Oshal a lot of his mother.

“You two, go get some food. After breakfast, Apprentice Kurgm, we’ll continue this conversation.”

“Yes, Master Ekla.”

Kurgm led Oshal to the table with their friends. They were just in time for the officers to enter the great hall and begin breakfast.

“What was that about?” Demndun asked.

“Apprentice Roshil,” Kurgm said.

“She’s so creepy,” Zifor said. “I can’t stand those eyes.”

“Please don’t talk about my sister like that.”

After that, the conversation ended. With Cremwa away on her fifth-year assignment, there was far less gossip at the table. Oshal was still curious about what had happened. Why was his sister so angry at Kurgm? Judging by his guilt, Oshal guessed that it had something to do with Aonva. But what was bothering them both so much? Whatever it was, it was upsetting them, so Oshal made up his mind that he was going to help.

#VolumeThree #GettingAlong

The argument stuck with Oshal for the rest of the day. Why were Roshil and Kurgm so angry at one another? What had happened between them? How did it involve Aonva?

Oshal should’ve realized that the more something bothered him, the more likely Nourd would be to pick up on it.

“You smell different today,” Nourd said. “Elder Wolf smelled like that when the other tribes were fighting over territory.”

They were together in the gardens. Grand Master Gorkle and Master Durwey weren’t far, but they were at least pretending not to eavesdrop on their conversation. Oshal liked the feel of the gardens. Especially with the warm season returning, children were running around and playing together. He liked children; they were always so happy about something.

Oshal explained to Nourd what had happened that morning. When he finished, Nourd had a suggestion.

“The best way is to let them fight it out,” Nourd said. “Elder Wolf told me that.”

“Apprentices aren’t allowed to fight each other. They shouldn’t have to fight or argue. I’m sure they can talk it out. They used to be friends, I think. I don’t know what happened. Last year, Roshil stopped spending time with anyone. At least she’s spending time with Aonva again.”

“Is Aonva the girl that acts like a squirrel?”

Oshal laughed. “Yeah, that’s her. She’s my sister’s best friend. Roshil’s never really had friends before, so it’s good that she does. I’m worried, though. I know how Roshil handles people that annoy her, and it doesn’t go well for anyone. She’s… crafty.”

“Like a fox.”

“A little. But in a good way, I think.” Before Nourd could continue the conversation that Oshal really didn’t want to be having, he changed the subject. “Didn’t you say you’re going to be eating in the great hall soon?”

“Master Gorkle said I will be eating in the great hall in one month. I am learning about human things now. Your world is still confusing.”

“What sorts of human things?”

“Master Gorkle says since I would not do well in school, the humans are teaching me under hir supervision. I do not know what this ‘school’ is. It is a new word.”

“School is where you sit at a desk, which is like a chair with a small table in front of you, and someone teaches you and a bunch of other people something.”

“How long must I sit at this ‘desk’?”

“Around an hour, but there are different classes. When one is finished, you go to the next one for another hour. That’s what you do most of the day.”

“That sounds horrible. I do not think I would enjoy this ‘school’.”

“Aonva’s the only person I know who enjoys it. Most people get through it so they can learn what they need to. You only go until you’re an adult.”

After a bit of silence, Oshal asked, “What about the Temple of Words? Have you gone back?”

“I have. I enjoy hearing their poems.”

“That’s good. Have you ever heard singing?”

“I have heard the birds sing.”

“Humans sing like that, but they put words to it. Like reading poems, but with music.”

“That sounds interesting. Can you sing?”

“Not well,” Oshal said, laughing. “My family traveled around a lot, so we got to see and hear all sorts of performances. Performers travel around a lot too. Maybe we can go to one sometime.”

“I think I would like that. Can we go to one tomorrow?”

“I don’t think there is one tomorrow. Master Durwey would know, though. I’ll ask her, and maybe we’ll find one. It’s the warm season, so I’m sure there will be plenty.”

Master Durwey cleared her throat. She’d gotten into the habit of doing that, since he couldn’t sense her approaching otherwise.

“Apprentice Oshal, it’s time to get going.”

“Okay.” Oshal smiled at Nourd. “I’ll see you soon, okay?”

“I look forward to it. I hope you smell better tomorrow.”

Oshal laughed. He liked the way Nourd talked. “Me too.”

On his way out of the gardens, he sensed Kurgm.

“May I please talk with my friend for a minute?”

“You have a few minutes.”

“Thank you.” Oshal turned toward Kurgm. “Apprentice Kurgm!”

Unlike earlier, Kurgm was happy to see him. Oshal could still sense some lingering anger, though, along with guilt.

“Hi, Oshal.” Oshal couldn’t see it, but he sensed Kurgm bow. “My Lady Grand Weaver.”

“Apprentice Kurgm. I’ll let you two be for a few minutes, but we must be going after that.”

Once Master Durwey was far enough away, Oshal asked Kurgm about that morning.

“Why are you angry at my sister?”

“Did they tell you about the bracelet?” Kurgm asked.

Oshal shook his head.

“Roshil enchanted a bracelet and gave it to Aonva. It gave her a splitting headache, bad enough that it shook up Aonva.”

Oshal felt short of breath. He didn’t know what to say to that. His sister had enchanted Aonva?

“Master Durwey said that Roshil had enchanted another apprentice, but… it couldn’t be Aonva. Roshil wouldn’t do that.”

“She did. I was there. She breaks all sorts of rules. Me and Master Ekla caught her trying to break into the West Tower a while back, before you were an apprentice. Roshil was annoyed that Aonva was spending more time with me than with her, so she enchanted the bracelet to get payback.”

“But…” Oshal didn’t want to believe it, but it wasn’t that far from what he’d seen Roshil do in the past. Despite their mother’s influence, their father had taught them never to go at someone from the front. Always go from the side. Was that what Roshil had done? She wouldn’t do that to Aonva, though. Would she?

“I know she’s your sister, but I don’t trust her. I know Aonva’s talking to her again, but I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“What isn’t?”

“Trusting her.”

“But—”

“Just leave it. I’ve got to go. We’ll talk later.”

“Okay. Bye.”

As Kurgm walked off, Oshal realized he didn’t know the other half of the story. If the bracelet was why Kurgm was angry at Roshil, why was Roshil angry at Kurgm? And had Roshil really hurt Aonva on purpose? That didn’t seem like her. Oshal resolved to talk to his sister and get the answers.

#VolumeThree #GettingAlong

“Concentrate on the threads. Feel how they intertwine with one another. Each one affects all the others around it. Together, they weave a tapestry of life. As people move, their threads move. As people live, their threads live. Feel all the life around you.”

Oshal had always been good at sensing emotions around him, whether he wanted to or not. No one had really offered him an explanation; some people were born like that, and that’s how it was. It meant he always knew what everyone around him was feeling. But there was so much more to the threads than he’d realized. His mother had tried to teach him, but even she hadn’t known everything.

Now, Oshal could feel it. He felt the threads intertwining, dancing around one another through life. Master Durwey was right; as everyone lived, their threads lived too. Swirling, gliding, dodging. Like another world connected to his own.

Nourd’s thread was intertwined with weaker threads from the forest. They weren’t weak to Nourd, but they weren’t strong to Oshal. He couldn’t sense much, apart from Nourd’s relationship to them.

His sister’s thread trembled. There was another thread connected to it, one that was connected to Oshal as well. He tried to ignore it, but then it moved. It strummed up and down, like a heartbeat. Or wingbeats.

Oshal screamed and snapped out of his trance. He knew to what it belonged. It connected straight to him, to his father, to his sister. The thread that had torn his family apart.

“Apprentice Oshal?” Despite not sensing her emotions, Oshal could hear the worry in Master Durwey’s voice. “Is everything—”

“Fine. Just… fine.”

Master Durwey didn’t say anything for a moment. Oshal was familiar with the silence; the silence of someone thinking about their next move, their next words. He often used it when talking to his sister.

“Is something bothering you?”

Oshal knew she wanted to hear about the thread, but he wasn’t willing to talk about it. Instead, he changed the subject to his current problem.

“My sister and Apprentice Kurgm are mad at each other. I don’t know what to do.”

“Why do you have to do anything?”

“I think they used to be friends. And… and I don’t like it when people are mad at my sister. Or my friends.”

“I’m sure it will work itself out without you getting involved. Why don’t you let them be for a while?”

Oshal nodded, although he still wanted to know the whole truth about Roshil. She couldn’t have enchanted Aonva, not on purpose. Maybe she’d accidentally enchanted the bracelet? No, he knew she’d enchanted someone. Maybe Kurgm misheard the situation? Maybe it was because someone had done something to Aonva. But Kurgm had said he’d been there. How could he have confused it?

After their lesson, Oshal made his way to the forge to find his sister. He didn’t need to check her thread. She was always in one of a few places, the forge being one of them. It was still one of her favorite places in the court, although the library might’ve been a close second.

He didn’t need an escort to get around. If he followed the signs, which were helpfully engraved in the walls, he could find his own way. People didn’t always understand that he wasn’t a victim. He could sense their pity, and it bothered him. Although, written words weren’t always easy to figure out by touch alone. He had to remember to ask Aonva about something easier to read by touch.

None of that was important right now, though. What was important was finding out the whole story from his sister. She couldn’t have enchanted Aonva. She couldn’t.

“Oshal?”

Oshal smiled at his sister’s voice. He could still imagine them all together as a family. All four of them, living happily together.

“Hello, Roshil. Are you going to the library?”

“How’d you know?”

Her mind shifted, barring his way in. Despite their mother’s constant reminders that weavers couldn’t tell what people were thinking, his sister remained paranoid (although their father described it as “cautious”).

“It’s not time for food, so you’re only going to be in one of two places. You’re leaving the forge, so you must be going to the library.”

Flickers of joy popped up in his sister’s mind.

“And people say I got all the brains. Why isn’t anyone with you?”

“I’m fine. I can find my own way, although it’ll be nice to walk with you.”

Roshil took his arm and helped him to the library.

“You can’t be going to the library,” Roshil said, “they don’t have anything you can listen to.”

“I wanted to talk to you.” Oshal took a deep breath. “I wanted to talk to you about the bracelet you made for Apprentice Aonva.”

Roshil stopped walking. Her mind flickered through anger and sadness several times before she cut him off.

“Kurgm told you?”

“Yes. I asked why he was angry at you.”

“He’s angry at me?” Anger took over inside her, pushing the sadness into a corner. “He brushed off Aonva like she was nothing! He had her attention, and he threw it away! What right does he have to be angry at me?! She—”

Roshil stopped herself from going any further.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you. Just stay out of it, okay?”

Oshal nodded. He didn’t like lying to his sister, but it was for her own good. He hadn’t gotten an answer about the bracelet, but he was sure there was nothing wrong. She wouldn’t have done anything to Aonva would she?

“Did you enchant Aonva?”

He could feel his sister’s glare on him. He could still see her green eyes glaring at him from inside his memories. They were different now, but he could still imagine how they used to be. How she used to be.

“Yeah.”

“But it’s Aonva. You wouldn’t—”

“I did, okay? I said to stay out of it! I don’t need Kurgm’s approval for anything! Me and Aonva are friends! If he doesn’t want to be friends with us, I don’t care!”

He heard his sister’s footsteps echoing down the corridor.

“Can you find your way?” she asked before she left.

“I’ll be fine.”

“Good. I’m… I’m sorry for yelling. Again.”

Oshal smiled at her. “It’s okay. Love you, big sister.”

“Love you too, little brother.”

Oshal knew there was more to the story. He felt bits of it in Roshil’s mind. If Aonva had forgiven her, then something else was amiss. Kurgm needed to know. The only person he’d believe was Aonva, and Aonva didn’t go anywhere without Roshil.

A plan began to form in Oshal’s mind. Roshil was the smart one, but he was good with people. And this was a people problem.

#VolumeThree #GettingAlong