Fitting In, Part IV
That afternoon, Master Ekla drilled him on focusing his ki again. He didn’t mind, since it was the only part of being a knight that he could ever get right.
When she was satisfied that he could recover his senses well enough, she stopped them for the day.
“Something on your mind?” she asked. “You’ve been more down than usual.”
Kurgm remembered that Master Ekla, while primarily a master knight, was also a master weaver. And master druid, so she could probably smell misery on him or something.
“Did… did you have trouble making friends?”
“No.”
“Oh.” Kurgm should’ve expected that answer. Master Ekla was good with people. She was good with everyone. Every problem they had to solve, she not only knew the answer, but how to phrase it so people would listen. When he was younger, Kurgm remembered seeing her with Lord Velal mostly, but there must’ve been plenty of times when she was out with the hundreds of friends she must’ve had.
“I didn’t try. I used to have a friend, but when I was accepted as an apprentice and he wasn’t, we grew apart. I didn’t have a lot of time to spend with him, and my father drove me to work harder than everyone else. Even when I spent time with the other apprentices, we never connected. So I didn’t worry about it.”
That sounded more like him. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t seem to understand Demndun’s friends. If it weren’t for Oshal, he didn’t think he’d get along with any of them.
“Don’t do what I did,” Master Ekla said. “You have friends.”
“I guess.”
“Skipping over whatever happened between you and Apprentice Aonva, who I’m sure wouldn’t mind seeing you again, what about Apprentice Demndun? She seems nice.”
“When we’re alone, it’s fine. I can sort of talk to her, but when we’re with her friends, it’s impossible. I can’t understand them. They’ve been friends since they were children, and I can’t fit in with them.”
He didn’t want to mention the potential breaking of rules. They hadn’t said they did, but they had implied it. It wasn’t right to blame someone without evidence, and he didn’t have any.
Master Ekla motioned for him to sit down on the ground. She did the same after he had.
“I knew a girl once who grew up without any friends. She had people who loved her, but she couldn’t fit in with anyone her own age. Then she met another girl who also had trouble fitting in. Now the two are best friends, practically inseparable.”
“But I don’t have anyone like that.”
“You’re right. You don’t.”
“Great pep talk.”
“But that doesn’t mean you can’t keep trying. If this group of people isn’t right for you, then maybe you need to find another one. Or, if you really like Apprentice Demndun, then ask her to spend more time with you. I can ask Master Silbrom to let her have time off with you, but you have to ask Apprentice Demndun first.”
“We sometimes go out to the gardens,” Kurgm said. “We go to one of the moonlit gardens sometimes and just talk for a while.”
It wasn’t always easy to find something about which they could talk. It’d been easier with Aonva. Almost any topic, especially academics, would get Aonva talking. She was a wealth of information about the court, dragons, history, the temples. Almost anything.
“Do that, then.” Master Ekla stood up. “Like I said, don’t be like me. Go out, make friends, and have a life. I didn’t have any of that, but you can.”
Kurgm stood up and gathered his things. “Thank you.”
Master Ekla nodded. “You’re welcome.” She waved him away. “Now go away.”
Kurgm smiled to himself as he left the practice room and headed to dinner. When he arrived, he was lucky enough to find Demndun already there, without the others.
“Hello,” he said as he sat down.
“Hi.” She averted her eyes for a moment, then looked back at him. “I wanted to ask you something.”
“Me too. What’s yours?”
“Would you like to go to the gardens tonight?” she asked. “I know it’s cold, but you asked yesterday, so I thought you’d like to go again?”
Kurgm smiled and nodded. “That’s what I was going to ask.”
Demndun lit up. “Great! Right after dinner, before it gets too dark?”
“Yeah.”
Even with the others there, dinner flew by. Kurgm walked with Demndun to the north tower to grab heavier clothes. Kurgm waited for Demndun to come out. When she did, she had on a matching scarf, hat, and mittens.
“Don’t laugh,” she said. “Old Lady Domna made them for me. They’re really warm, and I get cold easily.”
“She sounds nice,” he said as they started walking.
“She is. She used to look after all of us when our parents were away.” They stepped through the door to the gardens into the cold. “What about you? You never talk about what it was like growing up in the castle.”
They trudged through fresh snow on their way to the closest of the moonlit gardens. Druids walked passed them on their way to the druid’s sleeping area, which sat next to the moonlit garden. They walked through the gap in the evergreen trees to find it deserted.
“My parents died when I was little,” he said. Something flickered around in his head for a moment, but vanished before he could find it. “I was raised by Our Lord True Knight.”
“I’m sorry. You never said.”
“I don’t like to talk about it. I do like hearing about all the adventures you had.”
So long as they don’t involve breaking rules, although I think they all do.
They sat down on a bench. Demndun slid closer to him.
“It’s still cold,” she said.
He started to protest that it wasn’t, but Demndun wrapped her arm around his, and his mind stopped.
“That’s better,” she said.
She rested her head on his shoulder. Slowly, he rested his head on hers. Maybe he didn’t fit in with her friends, but that didn’t matter. He fit in just fine with her.