Skwyr Court

“Good morning, Sirshi.”

Sirshi was already cleaning up after the Sun Welcoming Ceremony, when Oshal, Kurgm, and another boy she didn’t know came up to her. She thought she’d seen him the day before at the Flower Blooming Ceremony.

“Hi, Oshal,” she said, knowing that if she acknowledged anyone else, Kurgm in particular, they’d start talking and never stop.

“This is Apprentice Zifor,” Oshal said, motioning to his other friend. “Zifor, this is Apprentice Sirshi.”

“It’s nice to meet you!” Zifor shouted.

Sirshi stared at him for a moment. “Sure.”

She returned her focus to sweeping the floor, hoping the others would leave her alone. It wasn’t that she didn’t like Oshal; he could tell when she wanted to be left alone, unlike his sister. She kept talking, but in a way that wasn’t as annoying as everyone else, so Sirshi didn’t mind her as much.

“We’ll let you get back to your work,” Oshal said. “Make today a bright day.”

“You too,” Sirshi replied.

“It was nice to meet you,” Zifor said in a slightly quieter voice than before.

“Sure.”

While Zifor and Oshal left, Kurgm stayed behind. Sirshi sensed he was about to talk to her about something.

“He’s actually really nice,” Kurgm said, motioning behind him. “And doesn’t usually shout like that.”

“Okay.”

“His parents come here every day, and he wanted to try coming back.”

“I don’t remember asking.”

She remembered what Master Moudren had told her the previous day. Did spreading hope mean listening to peoples’ problems? It certainly meant dealing with people. Kurgm was a knight, wasn’t he? Weren’t they supposed to be good at helping people?

Knowing she would regret it later, she asked Kurgm.

“You’re a knight. How do you deal with people?”

Kurgm stepped out of her way as she moved with the broom.

“Well first, I wouldn’t use the words ‘deal with people’. A lot of it’s listening to their problems.”

“Ugh.”

“What? I thought that’s what you did with Roshil.”

“Have you ever tried getting her and Aonva to stop talking?”

Kurgm opened his mouth, but Sirshi wasn’t waiting for an answer.

“It’s pointless. They keep talking to you anyway. Aonva goes on and on about some exam she has, or some work she’s doing, like anyone cares that it’s perfect. I get by just fine with the effort I put in.”

“I’m going to guess that you don’t put in much effort.”

Sirshi shrugged. “I put in what I need to.”

Kurgm didn’t say anything for a moment. That was fine with Sirshi. She continued sweeping the temple while he kept out of her way.

“Doesn’t my sister usually drag you away by now?”

“She’s giving me some time to myself. Not a lot, though.”

“Still trying to figure out why no one likes you?”

“What?”

“Whatever your problem was that you went into the Meditation Room for. Something about not having any friends.”

“Oh, that. Everything’s fine now. Just having some trouble fitting in with my new friends.”

“It’s just as well. Roshil gets annoyed when I mention you, then immediately changes the subject.”

Sirshi realized she’d never thought about why Roshil did that. This was followed by the realization that she also didn’t care why Roshil did that.

“Well, I don’t know why she’d be annoyed. I mean, me and Aonva—”

“Didn’t ask, don’t care.”

Sirshi finished sweeping and walked over to the utility closet to get the cloths to clean the statue.

“See, that’s the wrong attitude to take when helping people.”

“Who said I need to help people? I don’t need to help them, I just need to make them feel better about the future or something. I’m spreading hope.”

“Well, what do you hope for?”

“That this conversation won’t be long.”

Sirshi rubbed the base of the statue with a damp cloth.

“If you push people away, it’s going to be hard to make them feel better about the future. Why not say something like ‘I’m sure it’ll be okay’?”

“I’m sure it’ll be okay,” Sirshi said without a hint of enthusiasm.

“Hm. Needs work. Maybe try smiling?”

Sirshi turned away from the statue and spread her mouth wide, showing her teeth.

Kurgm took a step back.

“I think you’re fine without the smile.”

Sirshi’s face returned to its neutral stance of informing everyone around her to go away.

“What was the point of that?” she asked. “Does that actually work with people?”

“Sometimes. Honestly, I’m not good at this either.”

“I noticed. Are you sure you don’t have knight things to do?”

“No, I’m free for a few minutes.”

“Great. I’m so happy for you.”

“That’s better, but say it like you mean it.”

“What if I don’t mean it?”

“Don’t you want to help people? Isn’t that why you became an apprentice?”

“My parents made me become an apprentice. The only choice I got was my specialization, and they wouldn’t have let me stay a priest if not for my sister.”

“I remember, I was there for that. But Our Lady Exalted Priest must’ve seen something in you to accept your application.”

Sirshi shrugged and turned her attention to a stubborn smudge on the statue’s robe.

“You’d have to ask her. I don’t know why she let me in, but I don’t question it.”

“Maybe you should ask more questions?”

“Here’s one: Don’t you have somewhere else to be?”

“You already asked that. I’m glad that you’re worried about me being late, though.”

Sirshi wondered if Kurgm was intentionally ignoring her tone, or if he really was that bad at picking up social cues. Then again, she wasn’t sure Roshil would notice her tone either. Oshal would probably pick up on it, but he was so sweet that she felt bad snapping at him.

“Why don’t you try practicing on me? Pretend I’m upset about something.”

Sirshi rolled her eyes, then glanced around to make sure Master Moudren hadn’t seen her do that. She sighed, then put down the cloth.

“Be happy.”

“I want to be, but life’s just so tough.”

“Sure it is. Get over it.”

“Well… um… I don’t know if I’m going to be a good apprentice.”

“So what? If people don’t think you’re good enough, that’s their problem. Who cares what they think? Be better than them out of spite. And when you’re the next great master, on your way to an officer, you can turn back to them and laugh at them. And when their children want an apprenticeship, you can say ‘Well, I don’t know if you’re court material. Such a shame that your parents are a complete waste of space that never loved you. Better luck next time.’”

Kurgm stared at her open mouthed. Sensing that he wasn’t going to talk again for a while, Sirshi returned to cleaning the statue.

“It’s a miracle, I’m cured,” Kurgm said with no emotion in his voice. “I’m going to go now. Good luck with everything.”

“Make today a bright day,” Sirshi said, mostly out of habit.

“You too.”

As Kurgm walked out of the temple over the freshly cleaned floor that she’d have to sweep again, Sirshi felt better. She finally had peace and quiet.

Even as she continued her chores, something Kurgm had said bothered her.

Don’t you want to help people? Isn’t that why you became an apprentice?

What did it matter if she wanted to help people? People could help themselves, couldn’t they? Why was it her responsibility to help them? But the thought that dug inside her and made itself at home was the worst of the bunch: If she couldn’t help people, could she still be an apprentice?

#VolumeThree #HopeForTheFuture

Later that day, Kurgm’s words were still in Sirshi’s head. She sat in the library with Aonva and Roshil, with a book about the Temple of the Rising Sun open in front of her. She’d read it before, but she wanted to know if every priest had to be like Master Moudren.

I like Master Moudren. But I’m not her. I can’t be her.

Something poked her arm, and she wrenched it back. She settled down somewhat when she saw it was Roshil that had poked her.

“Something wrong?” Roshil whispered.

“I’m fine,” Sirshi snapped, a little louder than she’d meant to.

“You haven’t complained about being here yet. We’ve been here almost an hour, and you haven’t complained about being here almost an hour.”

“So? I thought it annoyed you when I complained.”

Aonva shushed her, then shrank in her seat when Sirshi glared at her. She turned back to Roshil and found a glare waiting for her.

“What?” Sirshi snapped, no longer bothering to keep her voice down. “I’m fine! I don’t need anyone telling me what to do, or that I’m not a ‘people person’ like every other apprentice. So what if I don’t like being around people. What’s the big deal?”

Roshil and Aonva stared at her. Sirshi glared at them, daring one of them to try lecturing her.

“Master Grund doesn’t like people.” Roshil furled her brow and pressed her lips together, which Sirshi had come to learn was her “thinking face”. “I think he might like me, but I can’t think of anyone else he likes.”

Sirshi eased up her glare. Maybe she should’ve realized that Roshil and Aonva weren’t the lecturing type. An Aonva lecture amounted to a long-winded speech about something Aonva liked, but Sirshi could safely tune those out. Roshil engaged Aonva, so there was no need for Sirshi to pay attention.

Aonva turned her eyes down and closed her book.

“We have to go,” she said. “Roshil and I have class soon.”

“Right,” Roshil said, closing her book. To Sirshi, she said, “We can talk later. Or not, if you don’t want to.”

“Sure,” Sirshi said, not sure to what she was agreeing.

She watched her friends go, then packed up her own book and returned it to the shelf. What had Roshil said about Lord Grund? He wasn’t a people person either. Neither was Master Daktra, now that she thought about it. She hadn’t seen her old master in a while, but he’d been a lot like her when she was his apprentice.

On her way out of the library, Sirshi ran into someone who, unlike Roshil and Aonva, had no problem lecturing her, and frequently did.

“Apprentice Sirshi.”

“Master Ekla.”

Sirshi tried to walk past her sister, but Ekla moved to block her path.

“Would you please follow me?”

Sirshi glared at her sister. She had a feeling this would end up being a waste of her time. The last thing she needed was a lecture from her sister.

“Why?”

“I only want to talk. Please?”

“You always ‘only want to talk’. Next thing I know, I’m getting lectured on not being ladylike, or not upsetting father, or—”

“It’s about what Master Moudren told you a few days ago. I want to help.”

Sirshi opened her mouth to snap at her sister, but she remembered the previous year, and her father’s attempts to get her removed from the temple.

“Fine.”

She followed Ekla through the corridors and into the gardens. The sun shone down on the blooming flowers and fresh grass. Children ran while their parents talked and pretended to keep an eye on them. Occasionally, an adult would shout for the children not to kill each other, or not to put something in their mouths.

Why do people even have children? Sirshi stepped aside before one of the terrors could run her over.

Ekla led her to a bench and sat down. Sirshi sat down beside her.

“Why did you choose to become an apprentice?” Ekla asked.

“Because mother and father made me. Remember? It wasn’t like I had a choice.”

“They aren’t making you anymore. So why stay?”

“Why shouldn’t I? I want to be a priest. Don’t think you can talk me out of it. You were the one that wanted me to stay so badly.”

“Serving the court means serving the community. From what I’ve gathered from Master Moudren, you don’t want that.”

“I’m so tired of people telling me what I want! What I can do! ‘You can’t be a priest because it’s not what’s best for the family.’ ‘You can’t be a priest because you get too angry.’ ‘You can’t be a priest because you don’t like people.’ Why can’t everyone just leave me alone?”

Sirshi got to her feet and started to storm off.

“I want you to be a priest.”

Sirshi stopped and turned on her heel to glare at her sister.

“Why?”

“Because it’s what you want. I only want to know why it’s what you want. If it’s only to spite our father, then that’s not a good reason to stay.”

Ekla’s face was impassive, her tone neutral. Sirshi knew she practiced it. This wasn’t her sister, this was the great Master Ekla talking to her.

“I don’t care what he thinks!” Sirshi stormed back over to her sister. “You know why I want to be a priest? Because Master Moudren cares what I think! So what if I’m not good at it? So what if I make people cry instead of making them feel better? I know all the rites and rituals. I like being in the temple. Why can’t everyone leave me alone and let me stay?!”

Sirshi stormed out of the gardens, ignoring the stares people gave her. Who cared what they thought? She certainly didn’t. She was tired of people telling her what to do, what to think, how to act. So what if she wasn’t good with people? She wasn’t convinced her sister was either, but she got by just fine. Why did everyone have a problem with Sirshi?

#VolumeThree #HopeForTheFuture

Five Years Ago

Sirshi ran through the streets of the court. She squeezed her eyes shut to stop the flow of tears, but nothing she did stopped them. It didn’t matter; no one could see her crying, so no one could tell her to stop it.

All you’ll ever be is an embarrassment to this family!

Sirshi didn’t know where she was going. Far away, where she could have another life, with a family that loved her. Did families love their children? Of course they did; hers loved Ekla. But not her. No one loved her. No one wanted her.

I’m sorry I was born!

So am I!

Her lungs were on fire, her feet were throbbing, and her throat was hoarse from choked back sobs. She tripped and fell. Stones scraped her knees and arms as she landed on the road. She struggled to her feet, then kept running. She wouldn’t stop, not until she was free.

Thunder rumbled overhead, and a sheet of rain dropped out of the sky. Sirshi ran toward the closest open building and took shelter inside.

She didn’t recognize where she was. A statue of a woman in a cloak smiled down on a large room with windows all along one wall. There were a few people inside, bowing to the statue. They hardly spared her a glance on their way out.

She smirked as she wandered farther inside. It was a temple. Her family wouldn’t dare follow her in here. She was safe.

“Are you lost?”

Sirshi spun around and saw the woman from the statue standing in the temple. No, not quite, this woman looked shorter. But her smile looked just like the statue’s. She didn’t smile like other adults. Something was different about her.

“You must be freezing,” the woman said. “I’ll fetch you a towel to get you dried off. Then we can take a look at those scrapes.”

The woman led Sirshi over to a supply closet and took out a towel.

“This should do.” She handed Sirshi the towel. “I’m Master Moudren. What’s your name?”

---

Present Day

Sirshi stood in Master Moudren’s office. Master Moudren herself was sitting quietly, waiting for something, although Sirshi didn’t know what. They’d been silent for almost five minutes. Sirshi knew that because she kept glancing at the clock.

“I spoke with Our Lady Grand Weaver and Master Ekla yesterday,” Master Moudren said at last. “Quite a few people seem to think something is bothering you.”

“I didn’t do anything!” Sirshi shouted. “My sister ambushed me on my way out of the library, and started interrogating me about my apprenticeship! If she has a problem with me, then—”

“I don’t think Master Ekla has a problem with you or your apprenticeship here, so I don’t want to hear about you lashing out at her.”

Sirshi knew by the look Master Moudren was giving her that she wouldn’t be allowed to speak until she’d calmed down, so she forced herself to relax.

“Is there something bothering you?”

Sirshi didn’t want to say anything, but Master Moudren was asking Sirshi’s opinion. She wasn’t assuming anything about her like Ekla did. Master Moudren cared what Sirshi thought.

“I want to be a priest. And I’m so tired of people telling me I can’t be one just because I don’t like being around people! So what? Maybe I’m not good with people! What difference does it make?”

“Apprentice Sirshi,” Master Moudren said, raising her voice to be heard over Sirshi’s rant. “Who is telling you that?”

“First, Kurgm asked me why I was an apprentice at all if I don’t like people, then my sister starts lecturing me and accusing me of only keeping my apprenticeship out of spite, and that’s not true! Just because I don’t know how to help people doesn’t mean I don’t deserve to be a priest! I can do this!”

Master Moudren waited for Sirshi to tire herself out and calm down. After a few minutes of reliving the last few days, Sirshi stopped shouting and calmed down. Even after she finished, Master Moudren remained silent for a few minutes.

“When Our Lady Exalted Priest met with you,” Master Moudren said at last, “she didn’t want to accept your application.”

She immediately held up her hand to stop any outburst from Sirshi.

“Please let me finish before you speak. I promise at no point will I terminate your apprenticeship. I want to explain something to you, and hopefully after that, you will have the answer you’re looking for.”

Sirshi closed her mouth and remained silent.

“She knew we’d met before, and she wanted my opinion. She believed that you were applying to be a priest out of spite for your parents. Knowing you now as I do, and knowing what I do about your parents, I believe she was correct.”

“But—”

The hand went up again, and Sirshi stopped talking.

“But I saw your face when you first walked into the temple. Something inside you changed for just a moment. I knew what you needed was guidance, and that’s what I told her. She assigned you to Master Daktra because the two of you are alike. Neither of you are particularly fond of being around people, and you needed someone who wold take a more hands off approach to your apprenticeship while you learned to trust the court. My insistence was always that you eventually become my apprentice, because I was confident that you already knew where you wanted to be, and that this temple would be the best fit for you.”

Sirshi nodded. Master Moudren had so much confidence in her. Why?

“You’re right. You’re not good with people, and I don’t think you care to be. But as a priest of Olmgra, and I hope one day head priest of your own temple, you will have to talk to people. You will have to listen to them, and you will be expected to give them hope for the future. They will come to you with problems, but I know you can succeed, and do you know why?”

Sirshi shook her head. It all sounded like no one expected her to succeed as a priest, except for Master Moudren.

“Because most of their problems will be because of other people. Whether it be love, family, or friends, other people — not always bad people, mind you — but all the same, other people are often the cause of their problems.”

“Why do they care?” Sirshi asked before she could stop herself.

“And that’s why I know you’ll succeed.” Master Moudren smiled at her. “I’ve heard some of your conversations with your friends. You always ask them that question, and it reminds them to worry more about themselves than other people. It won’t always, of course. Your friends are quite unique.”

Sirshi agreed wholeheartedly with that. Her friends were nothing if not unique.

“But so are you. You have a unique outlook on life, and that’s what you need. It’s not always about fixing problems, it’s about living with them. And in that regard, you’ll do fine.”

Master Moudren stood up from her desk.

“Don’t worry, Apprentice Sirshi. I intend to see that you become a master priest.”

Sirshi bowed to her. Master Moudren was the best. She had known it since that day she’d taken shelter in the Temple of the Rising Sun. If Master Moudren said she could do it, then Sirshi knew she could, too.

#VolumeThree #HopeForTheFuture

One morning, Oshal found himself walking through the corridors of Skwyr Castle with Kurgm and Zifor, on their way to breakfast after the Sun Welcoming Ceremony. He liked that Zifor was going back to the Temple of the Rising Sun, and, based on the warm fuzzy feelings he got from Zifor’s parents, so did they. Even if Zifor was only going because he wanted to talk to Sirshi, although Oshal wasn’t supposed to know that. After a year of learning under Lady Durwey, Oshal still had trouble tuning out the emotions of everyone around him. He didn’t want to eavesdrop on people, but sometimes they were feeling something so strongly that he couldn’t help it.

As they approached the great hall, they came across Roshil and Aonva. They were almost always together, which made Oshal happy. He and his father had both been worried about Roshil making friends, but she was happy with Aonva, and Oshal was happy for her.

“Hello, Roshil,” Oshal said.

The happiness his sister had been feeling vanished like water from a desert. Her world turned gray, and the ground started to shake.

“Hi.”

Oshal’s initial instinct was the assumption that those emotions were directed at him, but he couldn’t imagine that he’d done something. Was she angry about him weaving emotions into her head almost a year ago?

The panic and fear of that day returned to him. Oshal hadn’t dared tried to weave emotion into anyone, even during practice. How could he when it could all go so wrong?

“How are you?” Oshal asked, expanding his reach to everyone else.

The usually nice and slightly passive Zifor was displaying uncharacteristic hostility. As much as Oshal didn’t want to believe it was toward his sister, he knew it was. Everyone was like that around Roshil. He’d hoped Zifor would be better, but the evidence was clear.

While Aonva was terrified, as usual, something different was coming from Kurgm. Something foul, something unpleasant, something that felt an awful lot like guilt. What had he done? Did it involve the reason that Kurgm didn’t talk to Aonva anymore?

“Fine,” Roshil said. “How are you?”

“I’m alright.” Oshal motioned to his friends. “Have you met Apprentice Zifor?”

“No.”

“I see the others,” Zifor said, leaving before he had to say anything else.

“I don’t need to meet him,” Roshil said. “He’s just like everyone else.”

“That’s not fair,” Kurgm said. “Zifor’s—”

“I don’t remember asking your opinion,” Roshil snapped.

The anger inside her burst forth. People ran for shelter. Volcanoes erupted. It all made one thing clear: Roshil was mad at Kurgm.

“Why would you?” Kurgm snapped back. “You don’t care what anyone else thinks. You break the rules regardless, right?”

Oshal found it hard to argue against that. His sister’s relationship with the rules wasn’t a good one. She mostly saw rules as obstacles to overcome, making a problem more challenging to solve. She didn’t just go around breaking rules, though.

“At least I look out for my friends!” Roshil shot back.

“Is that what you call that bracelet you made for Aonva? Looking out for her?”

“You don’t get to talk about her like that!”

“What did I do?”

Aonva felt like a mouse against a lion. Even though Oshal couldn’t see it, he could sense her looking for the exits. She wanted to run and hide as fast as possible, getting out of the line of fire. If his friends cared so much about her, they needed to stop yelling and upsetting her.

“That’s quite enough.” A presence that radiated authority stepped in to stop the shouting match. Master Ekla kept herself between Kurgm and Roshil, acting as a barrier to the war of words. “Whatever this is doesn’t have to be done here. Or at all, for that matter. Both of you, move along.”

Without another word, Roshil entered the great hall, with Aonva behind her. Roshil still radiated anger, which clashed with the fear that came from Aonva. Oshal was confident that together they’d be okay. He didn’t know what was wrong, but Aonva would calm Roshil down.

“Apprentice Kurgm, I expect better of you,” Master Ekla said. “Public disputes don’t need raised voices. Calm heads will always prevail. Learn that lesson now. It will serve you countless times in the future.”

“Yes, Master Ekla.” Kurgm’s voice held a cocktail of emotions. A dash of resentment, a splash of anger, and still what Oshal was sure was guilt. What had happened between him and Aonva? It had upset Roshil to the point of anger. And what was the bracelet Roshil had made for Aonva? Oshal knew there was a lot more to this argument.

“Apprentice Oshal, how are you?” Warmth spread out from Master Ekla, making the flowers grow and the sun shine. It reminded him of his mother.

“Confused, but alright. How are you?”

“Fine.” The sigh that accompanied it told Oshal that the word “fine” didn’t begin to summarize how Master Ekla was feeling. The weather in her mind changed several times before settling back down. Once again, she reminded Oshal a lot of his mother.

“You two, go get some food. After breakfast, Apprentice Kurgm, we’ll continue this conversation.”

“Yes, Master Ekla.”

Kurgm led Oshal to the table with their friends. They were just in time for the officers to enter the great hall and begin breakfast.

“What was that about?” Demndun asked.

“Apprentice Roshil,” Kurgm said.

“She’s so creepy,” Zifor said. “I can’t stand those eyes.”

“Please don’t talk about my sister like that.”

After that, the conversation ended. With Cremwa away on her fifth-year assignment, there was far less gossip at the table. Oshal was still curious about what had happened. Why was his sister so angry at Kurgm? Judging by his guilt, Oshal guessed that it had something to do with Aonva. But what was bothering them both so much? Whatever it was, it was upsetting them, so Oshal made up his mind that he was going to help.

#VolumeThree #GettingAlong

The argument stuck with Oshal for the rest of the day. Why were Roshil and Kurgm so angry at one another? What had happened between them? How did it involve Aonva?

Oshal should’ve realized that the more something bothered him, the more likely Nourd would be to pick up on it.

“You smell different today,” Nourd said. “Elder Wolf smelled like that when the other tribes were fighting over territory.”

They were together in the gardens. Grand Master Gorkle and Master Durwey weren’t far, but they were at least pretending not to eavesdrop on their conversation. Oshal liked the feel of the gardens. Especially with the warm season returning, children were running around and playing together. He liked children; they were always so happy about something.

Oshal explained to Nourd what had happened that morning. When he finished, Nourd had a suggestion.

“The best way is to let them fight it out,” Nourd said. “Elder Wolf told me that.”

“Apprentices aren’t allowed to fight each other. They shouldn’t have to fight or argue. I’m sure they can talk it out. They used to be friends, I think. I don’t know what happened. Last year, Roshil stopped spending time with anyone. At least she’s spending time with Aonva again.”

“Is Aonva the girl that acts like a squirrel?”

Oshal laughed. “Yeah, that’s her. She’s my sister’s best friend. Roshil’s never really had friends before, so it’s good that she does. I’m worried, though. I know how Roshil handles people that annoy her, and it doesn’t go well for anyone. She’s… crafty.”

“Like a fox.”

“A little. But in a good way, I think.” Before Nourd could continue the conversation that Oshal really didn’t want to be having, he changed the subject. “Didn’t you say you’re going to be eating in the great hall soon?”

“Master Gorkle said I will be eating in the great hall in one month. I am learning about human things now. Your world is still confusing.”

“What sorts of human things?”

“Master Gorkle says since I would not do well in school, the humans are teaching me under hir supervision. I do not know what this ‘school’ is. It is a new word.”

“School is where you sit at a desk, which is like a chair with a small table in front of you, and someone teaches you and a bunch of other people something.”

“How long must I sit at this ‘desk’?”

“Around an hour, but there are different classes. When one is finished, you go to the next one for another hour. That’s what you do most of the day.”

“That sounds horrible. I do not think I would enjoy this ‘school’.”

“Aonva’s the only person I know who enjoys it. Most people get through it so they can learn what they need to. You only go until you’re an adult.”

After a bit of silence, Oshal asked, “What about the Temple of Words? Have you gone back?”

“I have. I enjoy hearing their poems.”

“That’s good. Have you ever heard singing?”

“I have heard the birds sing.”

“Humans sing like that, but they put words to it. Like reading poems, but with music.”

“That sounds interesting. Can you sing?”

“Not well,” Oshal said, laughing. “My family traveled around a lot, so we got to see and hear all sorts of performances. Performers travel around a lot too. Maybe we can go to one sometime.”

“I think I would like that. Can we go to one tomorrow?”

“I don’t think there is one tomorrow. Master Durwey would know, though. I’ll ask her, and maybe we’ll find one. It’s the warm season, so I’m sure there will be plenty.”

Master Durwey cleared her throat. She’d gotten into the habit of doing that, since he couldn’t sense her approaching otherwise.

“Apprentice Oshal, it’s time to get going.”

“Okay.” Oshal smiled at Nourd. “I’ll see you soon, okay?”

“I look forward to it. I hope you smell better tomorrow.”

Oshal laughed. He liked the way Nourd talked. “Me too.”

On his way out of the gardens, he sensed Kurgm.

“May I please talk with my friend for a minute?”

“You have a few minutes.”

“Thank you.” Oshal turned toward Kurgm. “Apprentice Kurgm!”

Unlike earlier, Kurgm was happy to see him. Oshal could still sense some lingering anger, though, along with guilt.

“Hi, Oshal.” Oshal couldn’t see it, but he sensed Kurgm bow. “My Lady Grand Weaver.”

“Apprentice Kurgm. I’ll let you two be for a few minutes, but we must be going after that.”

Once Master Durwey was far enough away, Oshal asked Kurgm about that morning.

“Why are you angry at my sister?”

“Did they tell you about the bracelet?” Kurgm asked.

Oshal shook his head.

“Roshil enchanted a bracelet and gave it to Aonva. It gave her a splitting headache, bad enough that it shook up Aonva.”

Oshal felt short of breath. He didn’t know what to say to that. His sister had enchanted Aonva?

“Master Durwey said that Roshil had enchanted another apprentice, but… it couldn’t be Aonva. Roshil wouldn’t do that.”

“She did. I was there. She breaks all sorts of rules. Me and Master Ekla caught her trying to break into the West Tower a while back, before you were an apprentice. Roshil was annoyed that Aonva was spending more time with me than with her, so she enchanted the bracelet to get payback.”

“But…” Oshal didn’t want to believe it, but it wasn’t that far from what he’d seen Roshil do in the past. Despite their mother’s influence, their father had taught them never to go at someone from the front. Always go from the side. Was that what Roshil had done? She wouldn’t do that to Aonva, though. Would she?

“I know she’s your sister, but I don’t trust her. I know Aonva’s talking to her again, but I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“What isn’t?”

“Trusting her.”

“But—”

“Just leave it. I’ve got to go. We’ll talk later.”

“Okay. Bye.”

As Kurgm walked off, Oshal realized he didn’t know the other half of the story. If the bracelet was why Kurgm was angry at Roshil, why was Roshil angry at Kurgm? And had Roshil really hurt Aonva on purpose? That didn’t seem like her. Oshal resolved to talk to his sister and get the answers.

#VolumeThree #GettingAlong

“Concentrate on the threads. Feel how they intertwine with one another. Each one affects all the others around it. Together, they weave a tapestry of life. As people move, their threads move. As people live, their threads live. Feel all the life around you.”

Oshal had always been good at sensing emotions around him, whether he wanted to or not. No one had really offered him an explanation; some people were born like that, and that’s how it was. It meant he always knew what everyone around him was feeling. But there was so much more to the threads than he’d realized. His mother had tried to teach him, but even she hadn’t known everything.

Now, Oshal could feel it. He felt the threads intertwining, dancing around one another through life. Master Durwey was right; as everyone lived, their threads lived too. Swirling, gliding, dodging. Like another world connected to his own.

Nourd’s thread was intertwined with weaker threads from the forest. They weren’t weak to Nourd, but they weren’t strong to Oshal. He couldn’t sense much, apart from Nourd’s relationship to them.

His sister’s thread trembled. There was another thread connected to it, one that was connected to Oshal as well. He tried to ignore it, but then it moved. It strummed up and down, like a heartbeat. Or wingbeats.

Oshal screamed and snapped out of his trance. He knew to what it belonged. It connected straight to him, to his father, to his sister. The thread that had torn his family apart.

“Apprentice Oshal?” Despite not sensing her emotions, Oshal could hear the worry in Master Durwey’s voice. “Is everything—”

“Fine. Just… fine.”

Master Durwey didn’t say anything for a moment. Oshal was familiar with the silence; the silence of someone thinking about their next move, their next words. He often used it when talking to his sister.

“Is something bothering you?”

Oshal knew she wanted to hear about the thread, but he wasn’t willing to talk about it. Instead, he changed the subject to his current problem.

“My sister and Apprentice Kurgm are mad at each other. I don’t know what to do.”

“Why do you have to do anything?”

“I think they used to be friends. And… and I don’t like it when people are mad at my sister. Or my friends.”

“I’m sure it will work itself out without you getting involved. Why don’t you let them be for a while?”

Oshal nodded, although he still wanted to know the whole truth about Roshil. She couldn’t have enchanted Aonva, not on purpose. Maybe she’d accidentally enchanted the bracelet? No, he knew she’d enchanted someone. Maybe Kurgm misheard the situation? Maybe it was because someone had done something to Aonva. But Kurgm had said he’d been there. How could he have confused it?

After their lesson, Oshal made his way to the forge to find his sister. He didn’t need to check her thread. She was always in one of a few places, the forge being one of them. It was still one of her favorite places in the court, although the library might’ve been a close second.

He didn’t need an escort to get around. If he followed the signs, which were helpfully engraved in the walls, he could find his own way. People didn’t always understand that he wasn’t a victim. He could sense their pity, and it bothered him. Although, written words weren’t always easy to figure out by touch alone. He had to remember to ask Aonva about something easier to read by touch.

None of that was important right now, though. What was important was finding out the whole story from his sister. She couldn’t have enchanted Aonva. She couldn’t.

“Oshal?”

Oshal smiled at his sister’s voice. He could still imagine them all together as a family. All four of them, living happily together.

“Hello, Roshil. Are you going to the library?”

“How’d you know?”

Her mind shifted, barring his way in. Despite their mother’s constant reminders that weavers couldn’t tell what people were thinking, his sister remained paranoid (although their father described it as “cautious”).

“It’s not time for food, so you’re only going to be in one of two places. You’re leaving the forge, so you must be going to the library.”

Flickers of joy popped up in his sister’s mind.

“And people say I got all the brains. Why isn’t anyone with you?”

“I’m fine. I can find my own way, although it’ll be nice to walk with you.”

Roshil took his arm and helped him to the library.

“You can’t be going to the library,” Roshil said, “they don’t have anything you can listen to.”

“I wanted to talk to you.” Oshal took a deep breath. “I wanted to talk to you about the bracelet you made for Apprentice Aonva.”

Roshil stopped walking. Her mind flickered through anger and sadness several times before she cut him off.

“Kurgm told you?”

“Yes. I asked why he was angry at you.”

“He’s angry at me?” Anger took over inside her, pushing the sadness into a corner. “He brushed off Aonva like she was nothing! He had her attention, and he threw it away! What right does he have to be angry at me?! She—”

Roshil stopped herself from going any further.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you. Just stay out of it, okay?”

Oshal nodded. He didn’t like lying to his sister, but it was for her own good. He hadn’t gotten an answer about the bracelet, but he was sure there was nothing wrong. She wouldn’t have done anything to Aonva would she?

“Did you enchant Aonva?”

He could feel his sister’s glare on him. He could still see her green eyes glaring at him from inside his memories. They were different now, but he could still imagine how they used to be. How she used to be.

“Yeah.”

“But it’s Aonva. You wouldn’t—”

“I did, okay? I said to stay out of it! I don’t need Kurgm’s approval for anything! Me and Aonva are friends! If he doesn’t want to be friends with us, I don’t care!”

He heard his sister’s footsteps echoing down the corridor.

“Can you find your way?” she asked before she left.

“I’ll be fine.”

“Good. I’m… I’m sorry for yelling. Again.”

Oshal smiled at her. “It’s okay. Love you, big sister.”

“Love you too, little brother.”

Oshal knew there was more to the story. He felt bits of it in Roshil’s mind. If Aonva had forgiven her, then something else was amiss. Kurgm needed to know. The only person he’d believe was Aonva, and Aonva didn’t go anywhere without Roshil.

A plan began to form in Oshal’s mind. Roshil was the smart one, but he was good with people. And this was a people problem.

#VolumeThree #GettingAlong

The next day, Oshal put a plan into motion. After talking with Roshil and Kurgm separately, he needed one more thing to complete his plan. Someone to back him up, someone who wouldn’t take sides. Someone who could get peoples’ attention and hold it.

“Apprentice Sirshi, I need your help.”

While Roshil and Aonva could almost always be found together in the library, Sirshi could almost always be found in the Temple of the Rising Sun. This made it easy to enlist her help.

“What do you need?”

“Someone who can yell louder than I can.”

Sirshi stopped her chores.

“Why?”

“I told Roshil and Kurgm to meet me in one of the study rooms this afternoon. I’m going to figure out why they’re upset with each other and fix it.”

“Why do you care?”

“Because Roshil is my sister, and Kurgm’s my friend. I don’t want them to be angry at each other.”

“Why do I have to get involved?”

“Because Nourd’s not allowed in the castle unsupervised yet, and you’re the only other person I can count on not to be hostile toward my sister.”

Sirshi sighed. “What time?”

“One hour.”

“Fine.”

---

Roshil and Aonva met Oshal in one of the study rooms. He had told them that he needed help studying. He knew Roshil suspected him of being up to something; he rarely asked them for extra help, but Aonva was all too willing to help out. Roshil wouldn’t let Aonva go alone, as Oshal had suspected.

Roshil was happy to see Sirshi, almost happy enough to stop being suspicious of Oshal. A few minutes later, Kurgm showed up, and the shouting started.

“What’s he doing here?”

“Me? What are you doing here?”

“Oshal’s my brother! I’m helping him study!” He felt her glare on him again. “At least, I thought I was!”

“I thought we were meeting here before going out!”

“Why would he want to spend time with you?!”

“We’re friends! That’s what friends do!”

“Oh, really? I thought friends abandoned the people they cared about when a better offer came up!”

“Stop it!”

Sirshi did her part and raised her voice over Roshil’s and Kurgm’s. Oshal felt her thread move and block the door, barring their escape. None of them would try pushing past her. With Sirshi’s part out of the way, it was Oshal’s turn.

He reached out to the four threads, starting with Aonva. According to Roshil, everything centered around her. A wave of terror blocked out the sun, threatening to crash down and destroy everything. He thought back to the guilt he’d sensed from Kurgm every time he’d looked at Aonva. Something had happened, something about which Kurgm didn’t want to talk.

“Kurgm, why did you stop spending time with Aonva?”

That same feeling of guilt arose once again, but Oshal felt something else along with it: shame.

“I… I’ve just been busy.”

“But not too busy for—” Roshil started.

“Roshil!” Oshal said, glaring at her (something made considerably harder with bandages over his eyes). Still, it smothered her anger before it got out of hand.

With that, Oshal turned his attention back to Kurgm.

“Kurgm, is that really the reason?”

Kurgm’s shame grew bigger, an ugly monster looming over him. Oshal had sensed a lot of things from Kurgm, but never had he felt so small before. More than that, Kurgm felt foolish.

“Was it—” Aonva’s voice squeaked when everyone paid attention to her. Oshal really understood why Nourd likened her to a squirrel.

Aonva’s fear grew stronger, binding her mouth shut. She knew something, something helpful, but she was too afraid to say anything. Not for the first time in his life, Oshal wished he could hear thoughts instead of only sensing emotions.

“It’s okay,” he said. “What were you going to say?”

“If you hurt her,” Roshil said.

“Roshil!” Oshal said. “Aonva, it’s okay.”

“He didn’t hurt me,” Aonva said. “It wasn’t anything like that. Only we stopped spending time together the last time your uncle was here. I thought maybe it was what he said that time we were going to eat together. We didn’t spend much time together after that, so I thought that maybe…”

“What did he say?” Oshal asked, cutting off his sister before she could start yelling at Kurgm.

Silence prevailed once again. Kurgm wasn’t going to say anything, so Oshal turned his attention back to Aonva.

“Aonva, what did he say?”

“I shouldn’t have been listening. It was something he said when they were leaving. I don’t think they knew I could hear them. I didn’t mean to, honest I didn’t. But… but… he said I’d drag him down.”

For the first time since she’d called for silence, Sirshi started paying attention. Both she and Roshil glared at Kurgm. Fury radiated from the pair, and for the first time, Oshal began to wonder if this had been a good idea.

“I don’t care about that!” Kurgm said. “He said it, but… but he also said… he made me think that Aonva might not stay in the court.”

“And that’s better?” Sirshi asked.

While Sirshi started yelling at Kurgm, Aonva herself was shrinking. She wanted to run and hide.

Instead of joining Sirshi, Roshil stepped closer to Aonva. Oshal felt a whirlwind of emotions from both of them, but it softened as they drew closer.

“I didn’t know what to think,” Kurgm was saying as Oshal turned his attention back to them. “If Aonva was only going to leave, I didn’t want to… um…”

“It’s okay,” Oshal said. “You didn’t want to get hurt.”

Kurgm’s guilt remained, but his shame began to subside.

“Yeah. I didn’t. Aonva, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

“It’s okay,” Aonva said softly.

Oshal felt something new from Aonva: confidence. Its attempt at overpowering her fear felt as futile as a mouse beating a wolf in a fight, but she was trying.

“See?” Oshal said. “There’s no reason we can’t all get along again.”

“She still enchanted another apprentice,” Kurgm said, turning on Roshil. “That bracelet hurt Aonva.”

“It was an accident,” Roshil said, her temper rising.

“Please stop,” Aonva and Oshal said together.

“Kurgm,” Aonva continued, “I’ve already forgiven her for the bracelet. It… it wasn’t meant to hurt me.”

Oshal smiled. His sister’s relationship with rules wasn’t always the best, but he knew Roshil would never do anything to hurt Aonva on purpose.

“See? There’s no reason we can’t all be friends.”

He heard his sister huff. That meant she’d folded her arms and knew she had to apologize.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you,” she grumbled.

“I’m sorry I yelled too,” Kurgm said. “I… I should’ve realized you wouldn’t have hurt Aonva on purpose.”

Oshal opened his arms.

“Group hug?”

“Not happening,” Sirshi said.

“I don’t really like hugs,” Aonva said.

Something the approximate size and shape of his sister collided with him and wrapped its arms around him.

“You’re a pain sometimes,” she said, “but I love you.”

“Great, everyone’s happy,” Sirshi said. “Can I go now?”

“If we’re not going anywhere,” Kurgm said, “I should get going too.”

Oshal figured it was too much to ask for them all to go out in the court, so he let everyone else go. It wasn’t perfect yet, but it was a good start. Most of his best friends, all getting along.

#VolumeThree #GettingAlong

With Oshal by his side, Nourd walked into the great hall for the first time. He’d seen the doors, been told what it was, but had never walked inside to see it. It looked to him like every other room. There was still a ceiling blocking the open sky. There were still walls on all sides, stopping him from leaving. He didn’t like it.

“I don’t like it,” he said to Oshal.

“Why not?”

“I cannot see the sky. I like the sky.”

“Don’t worry. It’s only for a little while, then you can go back outside.”

Oshal led him to one of the stretches of wood laid out in the room. Master Gorkle had called them “tables”. He’d also instructed Nourd on how to act while in the great hall. He could sit and talk, but everyone stood at attention when the officers walked in. Unlike most other human customs, this one made sense. Of course the leaders ate first. They were the leaders.

Oshal introduced him to some other humans. He recognized one of them, the male with glass on his face, Kurgm. He sat with his mate, Demndun. None of the other humans had mates, although the other two males were in the process of attempting to gain the attention of the other female.

“Hello,” Kurgm said.

“Hello,” Nourd replied, as he’d been instructed to do.

The other humans talked with Oshal, mostly ignoring Nourd. As Master Gorkle had told him, the officers walked in, and everyone stood up, including Nourd. When King Fohra walked in and took his seat, everyone else did.

Nourd liked the food, although the strange tools humans used to eat still confused him. Why didn’t they use their hands? Master Gorkle had explained that most humans didn’t like being dirty, so they used tools to avoid getting their food all over their hands. As with most explanations, it ended with the phrase “That’s how humans are”.

What confused him more was that some food could be eaten by hand, but there was no way to tell the difference. Master Gorkle provided little help explaining the difference, only saying he’d figure it out.

“Oshal says you’re a druid?” Kurgm asked him.

“I do not know what Oshal says.”

“He grew up in the forest,” Oshal said, smiling. “You should tell them about it. I’m sure they’d be interested.”

“That’s not surprising,” the other female, Cremwa said. “Your manners certainly fit that.”

The other males, Zifor and Muwen, snickered.

“Apprentice Parom wanted me to go to the Temple of the Known Shadow with him before I go back to my assignment,” Cremwa said. “I’m only in the court for two days, and he had the nerve to ask me to spend it staring around at the dark. I have better things to do today!”

“Tomorrow,” Oshal said. “The Appreciation of the Dark. They do that once every month to help people understand that the dark doesn’t have to be bad.” He smiled. “I like going.”

“Seems like a waste of time,” Cremwa said. “Right, Demndun?”

“I’m sure they think it’s important,” Demndun said.

Nourd wasn’t sure about Cremwa. If she was trying to be the pack leader, she wasn’t good at it. A pack leader needed to know the goings on of all those in her pack, like Elder Wolf did. This female didn’t know anything about the others, and certainly didn’t know anything about Nourd. If an outsider had approached the pack, Elder Wolf would’ve inspected them thoroughly before allowing them anywhere near her cubs.

“Why do they appreciate the dark?” Nourd asked.

“The Temple of the Known Shadow believes in helping people with their fears,” Oshal said. “Most people are afraid of what they don’t understand. The Temple of the Known Shadow tries to help by showing them the unknown doesn’t have to be scary.”

“The forest creatures are like that. The deer do not like humans, so they—”

“Like I was saying,” Cremwa said, “I’m not going. I have more important things to do with my time.”

The way Cremwa smelled reminded him of deer. They held themselves higher than the other creatures. They were proud and cautious, but arrogant. Nourd responded to her the way Elder Wolf had taught him to respond to deer: he growled.

Cremwa looked at him in disgust.

“Did he just growl at me?”

“Nourd, we’ve talked about that,” Oshal said. “Don’t growl at people. It’s not polite.”

“What’s wrong with him?” Cremwa said.

“He did say raised in the forest,” Muwen said.

“Come on, that’s enough,” Kurgm said. “He’s a little different, that’s all.”

“No, Oshal’s a little different,” Demndun said. “No offense, Oshal.”

Nourd decided he didn’t like the great hall. He missed eating in the gardens. Or better yet, back in the forest, where everything made sense. Was this another part of being human? Perhaps they’d already created a pack, and there was no room in it for him.

What about Oshal? Was this his pack? No, this wasn’t the only pack he’d been in. What about the one with his sister? Nourd glanced over at her and the squirrel girl, Aonva. They were sitting together with another female. He had been okay with them. He didn’t care to be around Roshil for long, but he could probably stand her. Besides, he liked Aonva; she answered all of his questions.

Before he could ask Oshal about it, Master Gorkle came by.

“Apprentice Nourd, I think it’s time to go.”

Nourd had finished his food while the others had talked. Besides, he was no longer hungry. He hadn’t seen any chocolate, so he didn’t care to stay any longer.

“I did not like the great hall,” he said on his way out. “I would rather eat in the gardens.”

“I understand, but you have to learn to be among humans. Apprentices eat in the great hall.”

“Why?”

“That’s the way it’s done.”

Nourd knew that part of the conversation was over. Worse than “That’s how humans are”, that was the answer Master Gorkle gave when zie no longer wanted to explain something.

“When can I see Oshal again?”

“Tomorrow. For now, I think it’s best that you have some time to yourself.”

He thought of Oshal and his pack of friends. He didn’t like them. But he wanted to be with Oshal. Was there no room for him there?

#VolumeThree #ANewPack

The next morning, Nourd was in the gardens. The sun was shining on a bright day, and the birds sang overhead. Nourd threw back his head and called to them. He bid them good morning, and they answered back “Good morning”. He grinned at them, happy to talk to creatures that understood him.

“Explain to me the Balance of Nature,” Master Gorkle said in the tongue of the forest. Zie sat in the grass nearby, keeping an eye on Nourd.

“Don’t you know? How can you commune with nature and not understand the Balance?”

“I know of it. I want to know what you know.”

Nourd was having a pretty good day. After a year in the court, most of what he’d learned about was human things. Master Gorkle had greeted him with news that they’d go over what Nourd could do.

“We can commune with nature. We wield her power. Like the flowers, we draw energy from the sun, but we must leave enough for others. We leap through the trees, but must not harm them. The wind answers our call, but rain in one land is a drought in another. Helping a flower to grow takes nutrients from the others. We must never use more than what we need.”

It’d been a long time since Nourd had been able to have a conversation in the tongue of the forest. He missed it. It was so much easier than stumbling through human speech. The Power of Nature allowed him to understand and communicate with all living things, but it was still harder dealing with humans who could so rarely understand him.

“Why don’t humans obey the Balance? They cut down trees without replacing them, slaughter the creatures of the forest, my friends. If Mother were not there—”

“That’s our job. We enforce the balance outside the forest. We all must live in peace with one another, and with the forest. The druids keep that peace, and in return, Mother protects us. The forest is the first line of defense against invasion. That’s how the court started.”

Nourd recalled learning something about the how the court began. People had run away, and Mother had protected them. That was all he remembered.

“Mother protected people who ran away.”

Master Gorkle nodded.

“About 200 years ago, the entire continent was ruled by warlords. There were good people, as there always are, but they were few and far between. The person with the largest army prevailed, able to force people to do their will. One of the good ones was overrun, and a handful of survivors fled into a forest, previously uncharted. One of them was able to communicate with the forest, having slept many nights under the stars, among nature, slowly absorbing her power. She spoke with Mother, begging her for protection against the human world.”

“Why would Mother allow that?”

“You know Mother. She’s kind. It was her forest, even in those days. She made a deal with the humans. In exchange for protection against the outside world, the humans would help care for the forest. They cleared out a place to live, replacing all the trees they removed. In time, they built a city, one where everyone could find a place to be themselves and belong. Among those first settlers were people of all backgrounds. They were from all over the world, not just the northern continent, as it was known back then.”

Nourd remained silent as Master Gorkle finished hir story. One phrase stuck in Nourd’s mind: “Everyone could find a place to be themselves and belong”. He liked the idea of that, but he was different too. He was too different. He didn’t belong with Oshal’s friends. What about Oshal? Could he belong with him? If he couldn’t belong with Oshal’s pack, he couldn’t belong with Oshal.

“It isn’t like that,” Nourd said. “Not everyone can belong.”

“I was born male. But it didn’t feel right when people would treat me like one, look at me like one. Do you remember the way you felt when you first saw Apprentice Roshil?”

Nourd nodded. His skin had crawled at the sight of her. She was wrong, unnatural. Nourd understood why the forest hated her, why the elders wanted her dead. But he had seen the way Oshal was around her, and Nourd knew that Oshal would be upset if anything happened to her. So he had learned to live with it, for the sake of Oshal.

“That’s what it felt like when people would refer to me as a male. I thought I was like His Majesty at first. He was born female, but Mother sensed his conflict, as she sensed mine. It was Mother that changed him. I learned in time that I didn’t feel comfortable as either male or female. It was hard for me at first, as it was for His Majesty, but we’re closer because of it. The court accepted us, as it accepted you.”

Nourd thought of the way the other apprentices had shut him out, ignoring him, mocking and jeering.

“But it didn’t. The other apprentices—”

“Don’t mind them. After a while, even people who are different can settle in. The court accepts that His Majesty was born female, and, with the occasional slip up, everyone calls me Grand Master Gorkle instead of Lord Gorkle. Apprentices are all still growing, and it will take time. You’ll always have Apprentice Oshal, right?”

“But I don’t belong with his friends.”

“I can tell you’re important to him. If you talk to him about it, it’ll work out. That’s what the court teaches: discussion, then action. If you’re willing to listen, people are willing to talk. Give it some time, that’s all.”

Nourd hoped that was all he had to do. He wanted everything to be resolved sooner, or not have the problems at all. Why couldn’t it just be he and Oshal, like it had been before? Why did Oshal have to have other friends?

#VolumeThree #ANewPack

That night, Nourd stayed in the gardens for dinner. Master Gorkle told him that it was better to ease into eating with the other humans, to give Nourd time to adjust. Nourd didn’t mind; he didn’t like eating in the great hall.

Oshal came to the gardens after dinner, accompanied as always by Lady Durwey.

“How was your day?” Oshal asked, sitting on the grass next to Nourd.

“Master Gorkle is letting me use my abilities again. It has been months since I could use them without being yelled at.”

“That’s good.”

“How was your day?” Nourd asked. Repeating that question after being asked it was one of the easier parts of “manners”.

“Good. I’m learning more about the role the weavers play in the court, and still working on sensing how all the threads fit together. It’s nice.”

Nourd nodded, which he was also supposed to do as per “manners”.

“I wanted to talk about last night,” Oshal said. “My friends were… shocked. I think you might need to back off a little. If you give them time, they’ll get used to you.”

“I do not understand.”

“Well… um… you bothered them. It’s not your fault, they just aren’t used to you yet.”

“I do not like sitting with your friends,” Nourd said. “Why can you not sit alone with me?”

“Because I have other friends,” Oshal said. “I like making friends. I like meeting new people.”

“I do not need other friends. I only want to be with you.”

Nourd smelled anger coming from Oshal. What reason did he have to be angry? He wasn’t the one people singled out. People accepted Oshal. Why would he be angry? Was he angry at them for how they’d treated Nourd?

“Maybe you should have other friends,” Oshal said. “Then this wouldn’t bother you.”

“I do not want other friends.”

“But I do! I can’t always spend time with you! If you give them time, they’ll get used to you.”

“They fight me! They will not allow me in their pack!”

“They’re aren’t fighting you!” Oshal paused for a moment. His anger was still rising and falling. Was he mad at Nourd? “You’re new. They’re always like that with new people. They did that to Kurgm too, but they ease up after a while. You just have to give them time. And you cannot growl at them again.”

“I did not like the way they talked about me.”

“I’m sorry they upset you. I promise, they’ll stop doing that. But… You can’t spend all your time with me. Sometimes, I want to do other things.”

What other things did Oshal want to do? Why did he want to spend time away from Nourd? Was it about Oshal’s friends? Had they done this to him?

“What other things?”

“Things with my other friends! Things you wouldn’t enjoy! It’s not a big deal. We do things separately all the time!”

“Do you not want to spend time together?”

“Of course, I do! But I have other friends!”

“Elder Wolf would not let someone in her pack treat me the way they did! I would not let someone treat you that way!”

“We’re not wolves! This isn’t the forest!”

“That’s enough for tonight,” Master Gorkle said, stepping between them. “We’re all tired, so let’s all take a step back, and come back with cooler heads.”

Nourd opened his mouth to ask what any of that meant, but Master Gorkle barked at him for silence.

“Agreed,” Lady Durwey said. “Apprentice Oshal, say good night.”

The anger around Oshal faded away.

“Good night, Nourd.”

“Good night, Oshal.”

Nourd bowed to Lady Durwey, then she left the gardens with Oshal.

“I understand that you’re upset about the way Apprentice Oshal’s friends treated you.”

“Elder Wolf—”

“I know how she would’ve handled it. But Apprentice Oshal was right. This isn’t the forest. It’s a different culture. You cannot growl, you cannot fight.”

Master Gorkle kept hir voice low and menacing. Nourd rarely heard zie talk that way.

“Do you understand?”

Nourd nodded, too nervous to speak.

“Good. I agree with you that friends should stick together. But if Apprentice Oshal is happy with his friends, and they’re happy with him, it’s asking a lot of him to give them up for you. I know they’re mean to you, and they shouldn’t be. But they’re still his friends, and it’s hard to speak against friends.”

“It shouldn’t be hard! They’re mean to me!”

“What if Elder Wolf spoke ill of Apprentice Oshal? Or he spoke ill of the forest?”

“Oshal would not do that!”

Master Gorkle sighed. “Close your eyes.”

“Why?”

“I’m going to explain something to you that isn’t found in the forest. It’s called empathy. You imagine yourself in someone else’s position. It helps you understand what they’re going through.”

Nourd frowned. “What good is it?”

“In the forest where survival of the clan is the most important thing, none. But humans need it to survive. It allows us to work together and help one another.”

Nourd obeyed, closing his eyes.

“Imagine you’re a rabbit. Running through the woods, trying to escape a wolf.”

“What does this have to do with Oshal?”

“I’m getting to that. First, you need to separate yourself from reality. Imagine you’re someone else.”

Nourd did as he was told. He imagined running through the woods. He tried to imagine being a rabbit, but he only imagined himself, running from a human. Trying to catch the predator’s scent on the wind, desperately seeking shelter.

“How do you feel?”

“Afraid.”

“Good. Now, imagine you brought Oshal to the forest. Imagine Elder Wolf didn’t trust him. He’s human, and she doesn’t like him. How do you feel? Are you willing to speak against her?”

Nourd imagined it. He saw Elder Wolf, pacing around Oshal, smelling him. Growling at him. Nourd wanted to tell her to stop, but would she? Would she be mad at him for speaking against her? For bringing Oshal into the forest?

“I do not want to speak out against her. She raised me.” Nourd opened his eyes. “She is my family.”

Master Gorkle smiled.

“We’ll practice that more. It’s important that you learn. Do you understand how Apprentice Oshal feels?”

Nourd nodded.

“Good. I know he wants to spend time with you, but he wants to do other things too. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you.”

Nourd sat in silence. He didn’t like the way Oshal’s friends had treated him, but he understood why Oshal hadn’t said anything. He hoped there would be a way to see Oshal when Nourd was forced to eat in the great hall again.

“Do I have to eat in the great hall?”

“It’s part of being an apprentice. I’m sure we’ll figure out something for you. Eating alone isn’t easy.”

Nourd agreed with that. He didn’t want to eat alone. But if Oshal spent time with his friends, then Nourd had no choice. Maybe Oshal was right. Maybe they would stop being mean if he spent time with them. Either way, he had to talk to Oshal again. To tell him that he understood.

“Get some rest.” Master Gorkle stood up. “You’ve had a long day, but you’re making progress.”

Nourd found a spot among the other druids and laid down to sleep.

#VolumeThree #ANewPack