Skwyr Court

Roshil wiped her forehead on her tunic sleeve. She inspected the statue again, looking over the stone for any more chips or cracks.

“I think that’s everything,” Sirshi called from the ground.

“That’s what you said earlier, but I still found some.” Roshil adjusted the magnification on her goggles again. Her gaze swept up and down the statue. Even the tiniest flaw was unacceptable. Only the best for Sirshi and the Temple of the Rising Sun.

After another five minutes in which there was total silence, Roshil pulled off her goggles and began climbing down the ladder. “Now that’s everything.”

“Thank you so much,” Sirshi said. “Your help means a lot to the temple.”

Her smile twisted Roshil’s stomach into knots.

“Oh! You’re welcome!” she shouted. “Um… Master Grund says it’s good for me to practice repairs, since that’s a lot of the job too.”

She looked up at the ceiling and wondered if there was anything she could do there. The more work she found, the more time she could spend with Sirshi.

“I’m glad you’re not wasting your time on me.”

“Of course not! I like spending time with you.”

When Sirshi didn’t say anything, Roshil realized how ridiculous she’d sounded.

“Anyway, you should probably go eat,” Sirshi said. She looked up at the darkening sky through the windows. “It’s almost dinnertime.”

“I’m not hungry.”

Her stomach betrayed her by growling.

“Much.”

Sirshi laughed. “It’s fine. Go eat.”

“What about you?”

“I still have some tidying up to do. You don’t need to stick around for it.”

A pain grew in Roshil’s stomach. Despite popular opinion, she was well-adjusted enough to recognize when she wasn’t wanted.

“I’ll see you soon, then?” she asked, still hoping Sirshi would change her mind.

“There’s nothing else we need you for,” Sirshi said. “But I’ll see you tomorrow morning at the Sun Welcoming Ceremony, right?”

“Bright and early.” Far earlier than Roshil had ever wanted to wake up in her life, but seeing Sirshi in her robes was worth it. Roshil wasn’t good with words, but one day, she wanted to find the right ones to describe how Sirshi looked.

Maybe it’d be easier in Arcane.

Roshil waved bye to Sirshi, knowing full well it would be a while before they got to talk again. Roshil liked talking to Sirshi; she was one of the few people that didn’t think she was weird. Sirshi got angry too sometimes, so Roshil didn’t feel so out of place when she yelled or growled at people. Before her time in the castle, she would’ve gone to Oshal, but just like back then, he had his own friends, and they all thought there was something wrong with her. Even Aonva was spending a lot more time with Kurgm, and Roshil couldn’t talk to Sirshi in the morning because she’d have to start cleaning the temple or putting away mats or practicing more rites and rituals. According to Aonva, who was a fountain of knowledge about the Temple of the Rising Sun when Kurgm was around, there were hundreds of them.

There are the routine ones, celebrating birth and death, the coming of the sun and the start of the warm season. But priests must know how to appeal to their deities in times of need. Those are especially difficult. It’s a little like magic, but it takes a different sort of precision.

Roshil liked it when Aonva talked, but now she felt ignored. Aonva’s attention was always on Kurgm, and Roshil didn’t know what she had to do to get it back.

She reached the great hall. Judging by how quiet it was, the officers were about to walk in and take their seats. She scanned for Aonva, but couldn’t find her. She did spot Oshal, sitting with a few apprentices she didn’t know. Instead of being ignored by her brother in favor of people that didn’t like her, Roshil chose to sit at the end of one of the long tables. At least people couldn’t insult her to her face if she sat alone.

The officers walked in, and everyone stood at attention. His Majesty followed and everyone sat down. Food appeared on the table, but Roshil wasn’t that hungry. She looked around, wondering whore Aonva was.

Probably in the kitchens with Kurgm. Again.

Aonva hated eating with everyone in the great hall, but it’d never occurred to Roshil that they might be able to eat somewhere else. But it had occurred to Kurgm; he knew the castle better, and he was better with people. He was a better friend to Aonva than Roshil could ever hope to be.

Roshil picked at her food until dinner was over and she was allowed to leave. The moment she could, she raced down to the kitchens. Sure enough, there were Aonva and Kurgm.

“Roshil,” Aonva said, smiling. Roshil liked her crooked smile. It reminded Roshil of her own awkwardness, and it was nice to know that it wasn’t only her like that. “How was dinner?”

“The same as it was yesterday.” When I sat on my own. “Remind me again why you’re allowed to skip dinner.”

“I have standing permission to eat down here,” Kurgm said, “and Master Kaernin granted Aonva permission to be here.”

“We’re not skipping dinner,” Aonva added in her usual panic when the idea of breaking the rules came up. “We’re still eating, we just do it down here. And like Kurgm said, we have permission.”

Roshil had asked Master Grund before about eating in the kitchens, but he refused to grant her permission. His concern was that she’d use it to skip dinner entirely and keep working in the forge like she’d done before she’d had friends.

“Dinner’s over, so we should get going,” Kurgm said.

“Do you want to go to the library?” Roshil asked, hoping her friends would want to spend some time with her.

“Kurgm and I are going to walk around the gardens before bed,” Aonva said. “Sorry.”

“Oh.”

The last time Roshil had tried going around the gardens with them, they’d learned that it was where many of the druids slept. Aonva had explained that they needed to be among nature to maintain their powers. That didn’t ease the discomfort Roshil had felt when many of them had glared at her and one of the younger druids had shouted at her (although “barked” was a more apt description).

“It’s fine.” Roshil turned and left.

I told you, Roshil. No one will ever love you.

“Roshil!”

She stopped near the entrance of the kitchens.

“What’s going on?” Aonva asked. “You can talk to me about it, whatever it is.”

Roshil fought back tears as she turned to face Aonva.

“Everyone’s got their own lives. I thought… I thought that maybe I could belong here. I thought for a second that maybe I could have friends, but you’re all so caught up in your own lives now that you’ve all forgotten about me.”

“No we haven’t. You can come eat with us, it’s okay.”

Roshil turned on her heel. “Master Grund won’t let me, and even if he did, I’d sit around and watch you two make eyes at each other. Sirshi only wants me around so long as I’m useful. And my brother’s new friends all think I’m a monster!”

“I’m not making eyes at Kurgm!” Aonva glanced over her shoulder and lowered her voice to a whisper. “I mean, I… I don’t know really, I sort of like him, but… that’s not the point!”

“No. The point is that everyone feels weird looking at me, and it’s only getting worse.”

“What’s this about? It can’t be about me and Kurgm! So what if I like him? That doesn’t mean we can’t be friends!”

“Don’t you get it?! He was right! No one will ever love me! So just leave me alone!”

“Kurgm never said—”

Roshil spun around and ran through the corridors. She felt people staring at her, but she blocked them out. She ran until she reached the entrance to her room. After she was safely inside, she collapsed on her bed and allowed the tears to flow.

No one will ever love you Roshil.

That voice. It was getting harder to ignore the memories. That creeping feeling that they were the same. She wanted it to go away again, like it had when she’d been with her friends before. She wanted things to go back to the way they’d been, but that wasn’t going to happen, so a new wish formed.

She wanted to sprout wings and fly away.

#VolumeTwo #FlyAway

Roshil woke up for the ceremony the next morning. She got dressed, but didn’t go to the temple. Instead, she went to the forge. When she stepped inside, the orbs of light around the room came to life. She walked to each furnace and turned it on. Fire burst forth inside each one. She walked into the back room where the equipment was stored and opened her locker. She pulled off her tunic and hung it up, then threw her apron over her undershirt, pulled on her gloves and goggles, and started working.

She was still hungry, but she could always tune out a stomachache. Eight years of foraging and stealing had helped her hone that ability. Even after almost six years in the court, she still wasn’t used to having food all the time.

Picking up her current project, she brought it over to one of the furnaces. It was a sword, plain and simple. She’d made several others just like it, but according to Master Grund, they were never right. She still had a ways to go before she was a master. Four more years, he’d told her.

It was Aonva’s birthday in a few months. Roshil wanted to make her something that would help her read books. Before she could start researching how to absorb information (if that was possible, mental spells were always tricky), Master Grund told her she wasn’t allowed to give another apprentice anything she knew was enchanted. Masters were, but not apprentices.

You can make something for yourself, but not without my express permission. Enchanting’s dangerous.

The idea had been something to help Aonva read books faster. She loved books more than anything, except maybe Kurgm. Roshil wasn’t stupid; she could see the way they looked at one another. It was the way she looked at Sirshi, the way she wanted Sirshi to look at her.

She realized that making something for Aonva wouldn’t change anything. That’s how people were. Thanks for helping me, Roshil, now go away.

The comforting sound of metal striking metal filled the forge. She could focus on her project and not care about anything else, at least until Master Grund got there.

She was sharpening the sword when he arrived a few hours later. He went up the ramps and called to her.

“When was the last time you ate?” he asked after she’d put down the sword.

“Dinner last night.”

“No, I watched you stare at your food the whole time. Before that.”

“I don’t remember. Yesterday, I think.”

“When yesterday?”

Her stomach was a lot like Master Grund. She couldn’t lie to either of them, and they both insisted that she get something to eat at regular intervals, but unlike her stomach, she couldn’t tune out Master Grund.

“Breakfast, I think.”

The worst part about having to stand at attention to her master was that she couldn’t avert her gaze. While the goggles did something to hide her face, she still got the sense that he could read her like a book. Not the boring kind either, the interesting kind, the kind that she didn’t put down until she was finished.

“Go to the kitchens, get something to eat, then go to class. You missing class because you didn’t watch the clock doesn’t reflect well on me.”

Roshil glanced at the clock. Sure enough, she had class in fifteen minutes. Arcane Language Studies. With Aonva.

“Yes, Master Grund.”

He picked up the sword and inspected it while she returned to the back room for her tunic. Other people started arriving at the forge, but by the time they got to the back room, she’d grabbed her tunic, belt, and pack and left.

She grabbed some dried fruit and water from the kitchens before class. She hated not being allowed to eat in the corridors. Last time she’d been caught doing it, it’d been by Master Ekla, who’d let her off with a warning. Specifically, “If you get caught, the punishment is cleaning the corridors by hand for a week.” After that, Roshil had been more careful not to get caught. But during the early morning rush there was no chance of getting away with it.

She sat down in her seat at the back of the classroom just as the chimes to start class sounded.

“Apprentice Roshil,” Master Dordir said, “so nice of you to join us today. Now we can begin our lesson.”

Master Dordir had written several words on the board, all of which Roshil recognized. As far as she knew, they were all ways of expressing affection for something.

“These words all mean ‘affection’,” Master Dordir said, “but it’s important not to confuse them. They each have nuances to them. You wouldn’t use shorarl except with your family and closest friends. While loeoa and raourl both mean affection, loeoa is closer to ‘fondness’, while raourl is closer to ‘obsession’. When crafting spells, it’s important to get the exact phrasing correct. Otherwise, the spell can have unintended side effects.”

Roshil drifted in and out of attention. They knew all of this. Why were they being lectured on it again? She paid attention when it sounded like Master Dordir would call on them, but all he did was assign them an essay on the importance of phrasing in spells. Artisans didn’t have to worry as much about phrasing, since they could work it all out before hand. The more she thought about it, she supposed mages could too. So why were they learning this?

Roshil stared out the window and watched the birds flying. Once again, she longed to fly away. To leave all her problems behind and never come back.

As her mind drifted in and out of class, she thought about Aonva again. Aonva was sitting next to her, but had long given up trying to get Roshil to pay attention in class. Despite her tendency to not pay attention, Arcane came easy to Roshil. Her mother had taught her a lot of words when she was younger, and Roshil still remembered a lot of those.

Aonva wrote down everything Master Dordir said so she’d be ready in case anything came up on a test. She was a much better student than Roshil.

Maybe if I try harder, she’d pay more attention to me.

That was a thought. Kurgm didn’t know much of the language because he was a knight. They only needed the basics. Maybe Roshil and Aonva could study together. They had for a while, but Roshil had never paid attention then either.

After class, she asked Aonva about it.

“You don’t like studying,” Aonva said. “We can, but… well, me and Kurgm—”

“Forget I asked.” Roshil stormed off back to the forge. She didn’t have class again for another hour, so that gave her time to be alone.

I wish I could enchant her to forget about him.

She dismissed the idea on the grounds that she didn’t know how to make it work. As she beat the metal into submission, another idea came to her. She might not be able to compete with her friends’ lives, but at least she could make sure they wouldn’t forget about her.

Thinking about it put Roshil in a better mood. It wouldn’t be too hard. And it wasn’t going to hurt anyone either. She finished the sword, then grabbed some scrap material and started planning.

#VolumeTwo #FlyAway

One week later, Roshil was sitting with Aonva at dinner and feeling much better for it. It was just the two of them, the way Roshil wanted it. Roshil smiled down at a gilded metal bracelet on her wrist.

Its twin sat on Aonva’s wrist. It was more or less simple. Roshil had worked out how the messenger spells worked — and learned about the identification orbs (she liked the word “bauble” better) in the process. The orbs allowed servants of the court to send messages to one another, greatly simplifying the process over having to recite the entire spell every time. What Roshil did was recreate the spell between two bracelets, but instead of her consciously sending a message to Aonva, the bracelet sent a preset message at a fixed interval, a single word: “Roshil”.

“I’m sorry,” Aonva said between bites of what little food she ate.

“For what?” Roshil replied with food in her mouth.

“Have… have I been ignoring you?”

Roshil hesitated, which in hindsight was a bad idea.

“It’s just that I feel like I’ve been spending all my time with Kurgm, and I really like spending time with him, but we used to spend so much time together, and I think I miss that. You’ve been on my mind all day. It’s like I can’t get your name out of my head. I think I feel bad after you made this beautiful bracelet for me.” She smiled at it. “It really was nice of you. And I’m starting to think maybe I’ve been ignoring you all this time, and I didn’t mean to ignore you, it just sort of happened, and now I feel awful, and I hope you’re not upset.”

“I’m fine now, really. You don’t have to worry anymore.”

For once, Roshil meant it. She had Aonva again. Even if Sirshi and Oshal ignored her, at least she still had one friend. Everything was fine.

Until they left dinner.

Kurgm was waiting outside the great hall. He frowned at them when he saw them.

“Aonva, weren’t we going to eat in the kitchens?” he asked.

“I wanted to eat with Roshil,” Aonva replied. “I’m sorry, I forgot to tell you. I really meant to, honest. I just… I don’t know, it slipped my mind.” She touched a hand to her head. “I feel strange.”

Kurgm took a step toward her.

“Maybe someone should look at you.”

“I’m fine.” She backed away from him and closer to Roshil. “I want to stay with Roshil.”

Roshil got a bad feeling. She looked down at her own bracelet. It couldn’t be the bracelet giving her a headache, could it? No, it couldn’t have been. Her enchantment was perfect.

Aonva looked at her and her face lit up. She was so happy to see Roshil. It filled Roshil with a familiar warmth, but it was quickly overshadowed by panic. She’d gone over the enchantment hundreds of times, but it was simple. She hadn’t confused any words like Master Dordir had warned her about doing. All it was supposed to be doing was sending her name to Aonva.

“Is something wrong?” Kurgm asked, adjusting his glasses.

“I’m fine,” Aonva said again. “I want to spend time with Roshil for a change.”

Kurgm frowned at them both. He knew something was going on.

Aonva touched her head again. It was getting worse. Roshil began to panic. This was the bracelet, she was sure of it. She grabbed Aonva’s hand and led her away from the crowd of apprentices heading toward their rooms.

“What’s going on?” Kurgm asked, staying with them.

“It’s just a headache,” Aonva said. “You two don’t need to panic.”

Roshil glanced back at Kurgm. If she took the bracelet off now, he’d figure it out. She could explain it to Aonva, and maybe she’d understand. But Kurgm wouldn’t.

Aonva pulled her hand away from Roshil. “Roshil, I’m fine. Really.” She winced and held her head again.

Roshil realized she didn’t have a choice. She took a step toward Aonva. “Aonva, I need to see your bracelet.”

“What for?” Aonva put her hand over the bracelet. “There’s nothing wrong with it. It’s perfect.” She smiled at Roshil.

Her smile made Roshil feel worse. She wanted to fly away and never return.

Kurgm’s eyes darted between Roshil and Aonva. “Roshil… What did you do?”

Roshil wanted to tell him that she hadn’t done anything, but the words wouldn’t come out. She looked down at her own bracelet. She didn’t know what would happen if she took it off. It could stop sending the message, or it could make it worse. She hadn’t accounted for that possibility. It was foolish now that she thought about it. They’d have to take off the bracelets when they went to sleep.

Her mind raced out of control. She felt like she was suffocating.

“Roshil!” Kurgm said. “What’s wrong with Aonva?”

“Nothing’s wrong with me,” Aonva said. “It’s just a headache. You’re both overreacting.”

“I… I made a mistake. I enchanted the bracelets. You’ve got to let me take yours off.”

“You did what?” Kurgm roared.

Aonva closed her eyes and held her head. She backed into the wall, and tears trickled down her face.

“My head,” she groaned.

Kurgm rushed over to her, but she stepped toward Roshil. He glared at her.

“This wasn’t supposed to happen,” Roshil said. “I didn’t mean—”

“What, to enchant her?” He looked back at Aonva. “How do you take it off?”

“There’s a clasp,” she said, stepping toward Aonva.

Aonva backed away from both of them, but stumbled and fell.

Roshil rushed over to her and grabbed her wrist. Aonva struggled, but she didn’t have the energy left to stop Roshil from undoing the clasp on the bracelet.

Aonva gasped for air as Kurgm ran over to her and hugged her.

Tears fell from Roshil’s eyes.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

Roshil reached for Aonva, but Kurgm slapped her hand away. He wrapped his arms around Aonva and helped her to her feet.

“Don’t come near her again!” he shouted.

Kurgm led Aonva away. She didn’t look back at Roshil.

Roshil watched them leave. Then she closed her eyes, spread her wings, and flew away.

#VolumeTwo #FlyAway

Roshil didn’t sleep that night. As soon as curfew ended, she went straight to the forge. She let herself into Master Grund’s office and waited there for him. She didn’t care if she got into more trouble.

When Master Grund got there, he looked at her with faked confusion.

“Strange. I thought I locked that door, and I don’t remember you having a key.”

She put the bracelets on his desk. Then she told him what she’d done.

When she’d finished, there was silence. Gut wrenching silence. She still felt sick. She’d lost her best friend, and in all likelihood, she was about to lose her apprenticeship.

“Do you feel small right now?” Master Grund’s voice was level, calm, but carefully so. She’d almost have preferred yelling.

Roshil nodded.

“Foolish? Insignificant?”

Again, she nodded, trying and failing to stop her tears. She could almost feel the wings on her back carrying her away.

“Then I suppose I don’t need to yell at you. To lecture you about what you did. Despite my explicit orders to the contrary. To explain why it was stupid of you to not only break the rules of the castle, but to disobey me.”

“Is my apprenticeship over?”

Master Grund didn’t say anything. He glared at her, making her feel even more small and foolish than she already did. She wanted to beg for forgiveness, but it wouldn’t do her any good. She’d hurt Aonva while disobeying Master Grund. Two of the most important people in her life, and the others would be disappointed in her.

“No. But I’m revoking your free reign privileges.”

“My what?”

“Didn’t know about free reign privileges? Without them, it’s a bit like being grounded. You no longer have free time. You will do what I say when I say it. You are not to use the furnaces unsupervised. You will go right from your room to the places I say. You will not dawdle. You will allow yourself to be supervised by myself or another master at all times. Is that understood?”

“Yes, Master Grund.”

“If you need the library, the librarian will watch you. If you need the bathroom, someone will walk with you. If you want to go to temple, Master Moudren or one of her people — not Apprentice Sirshi — will keep you under supervision. You will stay in class until I come to fetch you. Getting the idea?”

“Yes, Master Grund.”

She kept her head bowed. She was glad for it; she didn’t want to see his face. The silence he let reign over them was unbearable.

“Do you know how apprentices are chosen?”

“I applied, then… um… not really, Master Grund.”

“The family applies, choosing a specific specialization, by the child’s 12th birthday. The officer for that specialization reviews the application and meets with the applicant, more than once if necessary. If the child is deemed acceptable — if the officer believes that they are capable of living in service of the court — then the council votes on it. In most cases, that’s a formality. The council rarely votes against an applicant, but sometimes, there’s a problem. Sometimes, the council ends up split. In rare cases, His Majesty has to break a tie among the officers.”

Roshil had a sense of where this was going, but she didn’t dare interrupt.

“Three of us in favor, three of us against. That was your situation. I argued in favor of letting you in. I stuck my neck out for you, I fought for you, and this…” He stopped talking for a moment when his voice rose. “His Majesty gave you his trust. This court gave you its trust. I gave you my trust. And you repaid that trust by enchanting another apprentice. Now, you’re out of favors. I will not defend you again against anyone in this court. So if you slip up again, then your apprenticeship will be over. And that’s the way it’s going to be until I feel you’ve been redeemed. Understood?”

“Yes, Master Grund.”

Roshil’s voice was barely a whisper. She felt nothing except shame.

“What was that?”

“Yes, Master Grund!” She jumped to attention and faced him.

“Good.” He held out his hand. “Lock picks.”

She reached into one of her pouches, took out the lock pick set, and handed it to him. He stowed them in a pouch of his own, then held out his hand again.

“Identification orb.”

She pulled out the small bauble from another pouch and handed it to him.

He took out his own orb and held it to hers. He muttered something she couldn’t hear, then handed it back to her.

“This will notify me if you’re ever away from a master. When that happens, you have exactly ten seconds to fix that before I arrive and drag you out of this castle. This applies to everywhere within the court that isn’t your room. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Master Grund.”

“If you ever feel that this punishment is too harsh, if you ever feel that you aren’t cut out to serve the court and every single living thing in it, if you feel that you can’t put aside your own wants for the good of the people, then you know how to leave. But until then, get back to work.”

Master Grund pointed to the door, and she walked through it. The forge looked different now. It wasn’t her haven of safety, her wonderland of possibilities. It was her prison. She was chained to it. But when she thought of Aonva, she knew she deserved this. She’d hurt her best friend, all because she thought she was losing her friends. Now she really had lost her friends, and it was all her fault. Whatever punishment she got, she’d earned it.

No one will ever love you.

The dragon had been right. No matter how hard Roshil tried, no one would love her, and there was nothing she could do about it.

“Next lesson,” Master Grund said, holding up the bracelets. “Safely disposing of enchanted items. It’s not safe to melt them down, because we don’t know what idiot enchanted them, nor what side effects they might produce that said idiot didn’t think about when she enchanted them. So first, you have to remove the enchantment. Pay attention.”

And for once she did.

#VolumeTwo #FlyAway

Aonva walked through her library. Her footsteps echoed off the walls and traveled to the far reaches of the shelves. She didn’t know for what she was looking. Some sort of peace. Was it a spell? A mixture of herbs? Some small peace of wisdom she’d stashed away for later use? She couldn’t quantify the shape and size of the solution, how it looked or felt. The only hint she had was that she’d know it when she found it. When her mind touched it, everything would go back to normal.

You don’t have to worry about Roshil. Kurgm’s voice came from somewhere deep in her library. She gave you a bracelet that was only designed to hurt you.

I’m not wearing the bracelet anymore, her voice echoed. So everything’s fine now, right?

Her eyes turned to her wrist. It changed from flesh to metal. Was she still wearing the bracelet? She remembered taking it off. Or had Roshil taken it off?

I enchanted the bracelet. That was Roshil’s voice. Was she there? Aonva’s spirits floated away with joy. The kindred spirit who’d appreciated all the information in her head. When did that change? Why couldn’t they be friends anymore?

One of the books floated off the shelf and opened up. A dark red dragon flew out of the pages and circled her. It spoke words she couldn’t understand, but sparks flew into the sky. When she repeated the words, more sparks erupted.

Magic. One dragon’s gift to humans. The dragon picked her up and took her away from her room, from the sounds of screaming. Aonva closed her eyes and let it take her to the castle, far away from turmoil.

When she landed, tall figures danced around her, happy to see her. But the small ones pushed her away, mocking and jeering her. Only one took her hand, but the figure wrapped its claws tightly around her wrist.

“I’m sorry,” Aonva said. “Please don’t be angry at me.”

Aonva’s head burned. When she touched it, she felt a tear running through the middle of her skull. It opened up in her hands, stifling Aonva’s cries before she could make them.

Aonva opened her eyes. She was in her chambers in the castle. The lights were off. Without realizing it, she’d dozed off. Despite it being something she was supposed to be doing, she couldn’t sleep yet. There was a problem before her, and she had to solve it.

She gazed up at the ceiling and wondered how much longer it was until curfew ended. Minutes? Hours? She reached out and touched her identification orb. It would buzz to wake her up in half an hour. She closed her eyes again.

It’d been a long night. Master Ekla had checked her over, then Master Kaernin. The whole time she’d only wanted to go to bed, to put the whole ordeal behind her. But they’d kept insisting she get looked at. She still felt fine, only tired.

When she’d asked about Roshil, Kurgm had told her not to worry about Roshil anymore. Was that right? Did she not have to worry about Roshil anymore? Was Roshil going to be alright?

He was right! No one will ever love me!

Aonva had worked out who “he” was, but hadn’t known how to talk to Roshil about it. “He” was the dragon that had cursed Roshil in the first place. Everything Roshil had done was because of that thing.

It’s not her fault. I’m sure it’s not her fault.

Aonva closed her eyes again and went to her library. There had to be an answer somewhere. For the past six months, she’d been researching dragons whenever she got a chance. There had to be something she could do to help Roshil. Aonva could see the toll it was taking on her friend. She had all that information tucked away in her head, so she had to have something to help her.

You haven’t been researching dragons for six months. You ignored me for Kurgm. You stopped researching dragons and started researching the Temple of the Rising Sun instead.

Roshil’s voice echoed in the library. She was right. Aonva had stopped her research. Roshil couldn’t have known about it; she’d been careful not to let Roshil see her, lest she accidentally set off Roshil.

That day in class was still burned into Aonva’s mind. Roshil had been panicking, screaming, and Aonva hadn’t done anything.

You don’t have to worry about Roshil.

She’s my friend.

Do as you’re told, young lady! Her mother’s voice echoed through the library and her eyes snapped open. Aonva took a breath to calm herself down. She couldn’t let go of Roshil so easily. Roshil was her best friend.

“When did it stop being easy?” Aonva whispered to the empty room. “Why can’t I forgive her and move on?”

She recited passages from The Skwyr Court Apprentice’s Handbook, knowing one answer was in there. Apprentices were forbidden from enchanting one another. It wasn’t safe to try, because there was no way of knowing the side effects an enchanted object could have on a person. Even master artisans needed to be careful about it.

Spells affect people differently than others.

Roshil had broken a rule by giving her the bracelet. Why couldn’t Aonva be upset about it? Was she supposed to be upset? Why didn’t anything make sense anymore?

Questions swirled around inside her head, multiplying the longer she thought about it. What was she supposed to do? Why were there no answers anymore?

Her identification orb informed her that it was time to wake up. She climbed out of bed, silencing the orb, then took out some clean clothes. She washed up, fixed her hair, then collected her things.

Identification orb, books, notebooks, identification orb, pouches, clothes, identification orb, pack.

After checking once again that she had her identification orb, which the small part of her brain not plagued by her anxiety reminded her she needed to leave her chambers so there was no chance of forgetting it anyway, she walked out of her chambers into a different castle than it was yesterday.

#VolumeTwo #PitOfDoubt

Darkness filled her world. It was all the world was. It was all she was. She let the panic and desire for light consume her. When Aonva knew she wanted nothing more than a spark of light, she recited the words to make it happen.

Would it, though? Was she capable of bringing the light back? What if she made a mistake? What if there was nothing there when she opened her eyes? She’d made so many mistakes. She’d ignored her best friend. She still cared about her friend, even though people kept telling her not to care. Her judgment was wrong. Her instincts couldn’t be trusted. She thought those were the words to bring light, but what if they were the words to make fire? What if she’d confused them?

Aonva spoke the words she thought would make light, but nothing happened. They were only words on her lips. Without being certain of the outcome, they didn’t do anything for her.

“I’m sorry,” she said for the eleventh time that day, once for each spell she’d failed to cast. She could draw on the need for them, the absolute desire that spells needed, but there was no certainty behind them anymore. She couldn’t trust herself anymore.

Why bother applying for an apprenticeship? The court will never want someone like us. Stay here and do as you’re told.

Maybe they were right. The court doesn’t want someone like me here.

Master Kaernin stared at her, waiting for her to speak again. He did that a lot. Not only because he barely spoke, but Aonva suspected he didn’t always know what was bothering her, and he really wanted to know. He never glared at her either, like her parents did when they wanted her to stop talking. He kept his face neutral, which she interpreted as patient.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” Aonva said. “I’m sorry, I can’t do it anymore. I’m trying, really I am, but it’s not working. The words don’t sound right in my head anymore. I go over each of them, but it doesn’t make sense. I can’t explain why it doesn’t. They were the same words that worked yesterday, and the day before that, but they don’t sound right anymore, and Rule Two states that I need absolute understanding, which means I have to be confident in what I’m doing, but how can I be if my best friend could hurt me?”

It was all Aonva could do to stop herself from crying. Within a day, she’d lost her best friend and her magic, and she didn’t know how to get either one back. According to Kurgm, she wasn’t supposed to get Roshil back, but the thought of not seeing Roshil anymore was too much to bear.

Master Kaernin rested a hand on her shoulder.

“Perhaps you should go relax in the library,” he said. “I think you’ve had enough casting for one day.”

“But it’s only—”

He stared at her with raised eyebrows, making it clear that his words weren’t a suggestion.

Aonva nodded. She packed away her books, trying not to let the fact that Master Kaernin was talking more bother her.

Something’s changed. Something’s different, he knows it. I can’t use magic anymore. It’s only a matter of time before he ends my apprenticeship. Mother and father were right; the court doesn’t want a useless, timid little girl like me.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Apprentice Aonva,” Master Kaernin said. “Same time.”

Aonva nodded again. He was talking to her more. That was a bad sign, she knew it. He was letting her down gently. Her apprenticeship was over, even if he hadn’t said it yet.

She walked out of the room and into the empty corridors. Her footsteps echoed off the walls, making her feel more alone than she already did. There had to be some way to fix all this. This must’ve happened to other apprentices before. What had they done?

Nothing, because I’m not like other apprentices. Other apprentices make friends. Other apprentices have enough confidence to cast a basic light spell. Other apprentices aren’t failures like me.

She pulled up a map of the castle in her head. It wasn’t complicated; the corridors connected with one another in a square, so if you kept walking, you’d reach your destination eventually, but having something on which she could focus put her mind somewhat at ease. She found the fastest route from the study rooms to the library. It wasn’t that far. She supposed it made sense to keep the two close together.

The library. At least there she could pretend everything was okay. Maybe she could find answers there. Not to her current predicament, that was no good, but maybe if she found some sort of lead on Roshil’s condition, everything would go back to normal.

As hard as she tried to stay focused on the library, fear crept into her head.

My Lady Arch Mage chose me. She wouldn’t have done that without reason, right?

She was wrong. My Lady Arch Mage was wrong to choose me. She made a mistake.

She picked up her pace, trying to outrun her own fears. They crept through the shadows after her, whispering to her.

She made a mistake. She made a mistake.

Why did she choose me at all? She must’ve known I’d turn out like this. Couldn’t she tell I wasn’t right to be a mage? Mages have to be confident, they must be certain of the effects of their words, but I’m not. I’m not confident in anything. All I’m doing is wasting everyone’s time.

That’s right, young lady. So stop wasting time and come home where you belong.

Aonva wanted to hide from the voices, but they followed her no matter where she went. She wasn’t sure if she could even hear them. Maybe someone had used a spell on her. Maybe this was more punishment for failing Roshil.

I can make up for that.

Could she? Would doing more research really make any difference? Or would she only be wasting everyone’s time again?

I have to try.

There was still a problem before her. She could at least try to solve it.

The court has been working on the problem longer than I have, and they haven’t found anything. My Lady Arch Mage probably knows all the experts in the field. My Lord High Artisan has been watching Roshil for months. If they haven’t found anything yet, why would I be able to? There’s nothing I could find here that they couldn’t.

With the library door in front of her, she stopped. What was the point of it all? What could she do that they couldn’t?

I have to try.

If you learn too much, you’ll only argue about everything like your mother.

If you learn too much, men will find you irritating like your father does.

I have to help Roshil. This is the only way I know how.

What if I make things worse?

I have to try.

With that, she walked through the door.

#VolumeTwo #PitOfDoubt

When Aonva got to the library, she went straight to the second floor, to the advanced section on dragons. It was one of her favorite places in the library, because so few people went there. It was also where she’d met Roshil.

I have to help her. I shouldn’t have given up on her.

Aonva walked through the aisle and examined every book on the shelf. One after another, she pulled books off the shelf, until there were six in her arms. They all looked and felt familiar, like old friends she hadn’t seen in a while. At least, it was how she imagined it would be like to see old friends after a long time. She’d never had friends with which to test that theory.

My best friend, and I let her down. It’s all my fault. Whatever she did to me, I deserved it.

She walked to the nearest corner of the library. This one in particular was not only out of the way, but a light orb shone right above it. It was the perfect spot to spread out books and be alone. Sure, she could’ve sat at a table, but she always ran out of space and moved to the floor anyway.

She reached for The Mysteries of Dragons first. With practiced ease, she flipped straight to the pages on dragon-touched. She’d lost count of how many times she’d read the same words, looking for something she’d missed. Nothing about the causes, nothing about the cures, nothing about the reasons. Nothing new.

Aonva left it open to that page and grabbed The Dangers of Dragons next. While it too had a passage on dragon-touched, it didn’t tell her anything she didn’t already know. That was in part due to her having read this one over and over again in the last six months as well.

Leaving that open she grabbed another one, and another one, and another one. Aonva skimmed through The Survivor’s Guide to Dragons, A World of Dragons, and The Origin of Arcane, all from cover to cover, jumping back and forth between them. It wasn’t enough. They had even less on dragon-touched. She learned how to fight dragons, the different colors and what they meant (not much), and the names of many ancient dragons.

The dragon Umjomkwanpra taught humans the Arcane Language thousands of years ago. Many believe she held back some words because she didn’t trust humans to use the gift wisely.

Valignatiejir is thought by many only to be a myth, but depictions of a great black dragon go back thousands of years. Unfortunately, many tragedies are blamed on such a dragon, making it difficult to tell what really happened.

The treaty between the Kingdom of Skwyr and the dragons is the only one of its kind. The dragon Lengaulelin was the first to sign it, and many others followed when they realized the mutual benefits of such a treaty.

Aonva’s head throbbed. She rubbed her temples and opened another book. She had all six books sprawled out on the floor around her. After rubbing her eyes, she continued her search for answers.

What are you going to find now that you haven’t found in six months? This is pointless.

She pushed her mother’s voice out of her head, but her father’s voice replaced it.

What good do your books do you? They’ll only make you argue with people all the time like your mother.

Yes, be like your father and never have an original thought in your life.

Aonva shook her head, trying to force her parents out of it. She grabbed one of the books to try blocking them and the headache out.

Most dragons will ignore any humans they see. They don’t need to eat constantly like most other animals, and their lifespans are at least a thousand years, although no dragon has ever admitted how long they can live. This being the case, they are known to be patient creatures. Many have also learned that when one attacks a human, other humans are sure to seek out that dragon for revenge, until the dragon is eventually overwhelmed.

Do not attack dragons alone. Only the most skilled fighters stand a chance against a dragon alone. Dragons have few weak spots on their bodies.

There’s no point to this.

Aonva scratched her wrist. There was every point to what she was doing. Roshil had made her a bracelet that caused a creeping headache over a day. It was prolonged, patient, like a dragon, but unlike Roshil. It only proved how upset Roshil was with her.

I’ve got to keep doing this.

She put that book down and grabbed another one.

While a precise measurement of a dragon’s speed is unknown, it is believed that one can cross the ocean between Skwyr and Nelaro in a matter of hours if flying at top speed.

Her head felt like it was slowly being compressed. Aonva had to put the book down and close her eyes.

Give up and go to back to bed. Or go to breakfast. It’s what a proper lady would do, and that’s all men want.

No! I can’t stop, not now!

She opened her eyes, but the light burned them. She curled into a ball on the floor, holding her head.

It hurts! Why does it hurt?

Every time she tried opening her eyes, her head hurt worse. She couldn’t give up. There must’ve been something she’d missed in one of the books. Or maybe the other books on the shelf. There were plenty of them, and she was sure she hadn’t read all of them yet. She had to keep trying.

Aonva opened her eyes, then stood up on shaky legs. She turned to the shelves, then put one foot forward.

Stars danced before her eyes. Her foot shook as she put it down. She picked up her other foot, but caught one of the books she had open next to her. The book went skidding, missing her head as it landed on the hard library floor.

Aonva curled up on the floor and cried. She couldn’t cast spells. She couldn’t find answers. What good was she?

It was a mistake to come here. I should go home.

Tap. Tap.

The sound of footsteps accompanied by a staff vibrated the floor. Aonva didn’t move. She didn’t care. No one would pay any attention to her.

“Oh, dear.”

Aonva looked up and saw Lady Emgard standing over her.

#VolumeTwo #PitOfDoubt

Aonva leaped to her feet and stood at attention.

“My Lady Arch Mage, I’m so sorry. I was… I…”

Lady Emgard dismissed her apologies with a wave of her hand.

“If I were to guess, I would say you’re having a dreadful day.”

Aonva’s eyes darted to the books scattered around the floor. She must’ve looked like a complete mess. As if she didn’t have enough reasons for Lady Emgard to change her mind about her.

“I’m really sorry,” Aonva said again, for once having nothing else to say.

Lady Emgard motioned to the books, and Aonva scrambled to organize them. She gathered them all in her arms, then stood at attention again. When she did, Lady Emgard handed her the book she’d accidentally kicked across the floor.

“Researching dragons,” Lady Emgard said, eyeing the book, “and quite extensively. Master Juoura tells me you’re over here a lot.”

Aonva’s body trembled. She feared her legs wouldn’t support her much longer, and not because of the small mountain of books she was holding.

“I’d like to speak with you, if you’ve got a moment. I trust you have time for a chat with an old lady?”

“Of course, My Lady!”

Aonva knew it. She’d been right. Lady Emgard was going to end her apprenticeship. She’d be sent back home to the screams of her parents. She dug through her mind for anything she could say to change Lady Emgard’s mind, but there was nothing. She stayed silent as she put the books away.

Lady Emgard led her, hobbling, over to a table.

“Do you need help, My Lady?”

“No, I’m just old. I’m quite capable of managing to walk around by myself, thank you.”

Lady Emgard eased herself into a chair and let out a sigh of relief.

Aonva took the chair opposite her. Her mind buzzed with information, but none of it was useful. Most of it was about dragons.

“Lord Grund told me what Apprentice Roshil did. I’m sure you’ve already had the court’s apologies, so I won’t waste my time repeating it. What are you doing here?”

“I… I…”

“Speak up. My hearing’s not what it used to be, although I can still catch an apprentice swearing from fifty paces away. It’s funny the things ones ears become trained to do.”

“I can’t cast spells anymore, so I came here to try and figure out anything more about Roshil’s curse, even though I haven’t been able to learn anything, I wanted to do something right today, but I can’t do anything, and I really like it here, so please don’t send me home.”

“Dear child, why would I send you home?”

“Because I can’t use magic anymore.” Aonva tried and failed to hide her tears. “I keep trying, but I keep doubting myself, and I know I can’t trust myself, so there’s no sense in wasting everyone’s time pretending that it’ll get better.”

Lady Emgard handed her a handkerchief. “If I’d given up every time things looked bad, I wouldn’t still be here. Every mage suffers setbacks. We must learn to use magic no matter the circumstances.” She tapped her staff. “Even after you get your staff, you’ll need to know what to do without it. That’s why it’s important to learn to trust yourself now.”

“But I can’t.”

Lady Emgard stared straight into her eyes. Aonva felt as if she were reaching down into the depths of Aonva’s mind.

“I have every confidence in you, Apprentice Aonva. I’ve always known you’d go on to do great things.”

Aonva stared at the table. She didn’t want to disagree with Lady Emgard, but she knew she wasn’t meant for great things. She was too scared.

“When faced with a problem, you refuse to give up until you’ve found a solution.”

“Who told you that, My Lady?”

“Master Kaernin. I make him give all his reports orally. It’s one of the fun things you get to do when you’re old.”

Aonva let a small smile fight its way to her lips.

“This is simply another problem for you to solve. It will take time. You may struggle with it for the rest of your life, but I know that you will prevail.”

“How can you know that?”

Lady Emgard smiled at her. “Because you’ve stopped crying.”

Aonva touched her face. Her tears had gone dry.

“So you must believe it too.”

Panic gripped her for a moment.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cry in front of you. I’m–”

Lady Emgard waved away her concerns.

“As if no one’s ever cried in front of me before. When life gets to be too much, crying tells people we care about that we’re suffering. It’s nothing of which you need be ashamed. Now, do you think you can cast a light spell?”

The idea of failing so miserably in front of Lady Emgard caused Aonva to freeze up. She tried to speak, but she couldn’t find the words.

“There’s no need to be afraid. There’s nothing you’ll do that will make you lesser in my eyes. Start with the words.”

Aonva forced herself to take a breath, then recited the words she’d spoken almost a hundred times.

“Perfect. Those are the right words.” She glanced back at the shelves of books about dragons. “Dragons were born of magic. They always know the right words to speak. They are those words, Apprentice Aonva. They are magic. Those words come from you too. Part of your heart is in them. You and those words are one, just like when a dragon speaks them. Trust in them, and they won’t let you down.”

Aonva closed her eyes. She let the darkness consume her again. Then she spoke the words to bring back the light. She felt them flow from her heart, her lungs, through her throat and over her lips. They were infused with her spirit. They mingled with the energies all around them, concentrated on her hand, and brought the light to life.

A smile formed over Lady Emgard’s wrinkled lips.

“A good mage speaks the words. A great mage feels them. You, Apprentice Aonva, are a great mage.”

Aonva smiled shyly. Apart from Kurgm and Roshil, and occasionally Master Kaernin, she wasn’t used to getting praise from anyone.

“I… I don’t know what to do. About Roshil.”

“Is that why you’ve been so uncertain?”

Aonva nodded. She didn’t think there was time for her to relay all her other issues, nor did she want Lady Emgard to change her mind about her now.

“My advice is to give you two time apart. A fight can seem difficult at first, but with time, you’ll see you two are still friends.” She nodded over Aonva’s shoulder. “And I think someone else is worried about you.”

Aonva turned her attention behind her.

Kurgm stood at attention, with Master Ekla not far behind him.

“I don’t mean to interrupt, My Lady.”

“That’s quite alright, Apprentice Kurgm.” Lady Emgard struggled to her feet. “Apprentice Aonva and I were finishing up.”

Aonva stood at attention as Lady Emgard bid them all farewell. Her head spun a little. She’d sat down and spoken with Lady Emgard, one of the most accomplished people in Skwyr. Lady Emgard thought highly of her!

Before she could speak volumes on Lady Emgard, Kurgm brought her back to reality.

“Are you alright?”

Aonva didn’t know how she felt about anyone. She wasn’t sure how long it would be until she and Roshil were back to normal, or even if they ever would be. But she was sure she could talk to Kurgm again. She didn’t have to be alone anymore.

“I will be.”

#VolumeTwo #PitOfDoubt

Kurgm walked with Master Ekla and the rest of the caravan along the road leading away from the court. It was a simple enough assignment, one they’d done several times before. Protect the caravan on its way to collect crops from the farms outside the walls of the court, then protect it on its way back. While the gardens were sizable, they weren’t enough to feed the entire city, making it necessary to have farmlands outside of the walls. While they had their own protection, especially after the incident just before the cold season, the caravan needed extra protection from thieves, dragons, and any passing forest creatures that were feeling angry that day.

Master Ekla had met Kurgm outside the tower with their orders and this information as justification. Kurgm had nodded, rubbed his eyes, yawned, and asked why they had to do it so early in the morning. He hadn’t gotten an answer for that one. Instead, a bag of trail rations and a water skin had been lobbed at his head, indicating that he was to eat on the way, and do so quickly, otherwise more objects would be lobbed at his head.

While Kurgm was slightly more awake than he had been at the time, Master Ekla kept elbowing him whenever she caught him starting to yawn.

“Don’t start, otherwise everyone else will start, and it doesn’t reflect well on the court,” Master Ekla hissed.

Kurgm nodded, still struggling to stay awake. The sun had only just started to peek out over the horizon, and they were nearing the farmlands. He’d learned early on in his time at the court that a master could have her apprentice’s identification orb go off early to wake them up when they needed to be somewhere earlier than usual. This would occasionally have a message with it. In his case, the message was always “Get moving. We have work to do.”

“You’re always awake at sunrise,” Master Ekla said, keeping her voice low. “Part of your whole ‘temple’ thing.”

“My temple thing?”

“The Sun Welcoming Ceremony, right?”

“Yeah, but I’m not usually walking a few miles, and I would’ve gotten more sleep.”

He nearly yawned again, but Master Ekla elbowed him before he could. He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes.

The rising sun filtered through the trees around them, adding to the light from the orbs circling the caravan. There were three carts, all towing trailers for food, surrounded by a dozen knights. With the start of the harvest, they were to bring the food back for the court.

“Why can’t the farmlands be on the outskirts of the court?” Kurgm asked, putting his glasses back into place.

“You grew up in the castle. You should know the answer to that.”

“I never had time to explore or anything, remember? Our Lord True Knight had to split his time between us.”

“It was like having a little brother,” Master Ekla said. “That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be asking questions, though. When the court was built, they had to negotiate with the forest for the land. It was built inside the forest for protection, but they couldn’t clear out too much of it. The gardens were planted to provide for the court, but as it grew in population, they had to add the farmlands for food. Which is why the only road that leads away from the court goes right through the farmlands.”

“And we can’t live off the forest because…?”

“We have to respect the natural order. If we went around killing any animals we wanted, or taking whatever fruit or plants we found, it would slowly destroy the forest. Mother doesn’t allow us to take more than we need.”

“Who?”

“Mother. The tree who oversees the forest.”

Kurgm nodded, wondering why he’d never heard of Mother. Thinking about it, he had heard about her, but she’d never been referred to as “Mother”. Usually, it was “The Caretaker of the Forest” or the like. It never surprised him when Master Ekla knew things. She was a little like Aonva like that; both of them had their heads full of information.

He glanced back at the other knights. He realized that he was the only apprentice there, making him wonder if he was supposed to be there.

“Why am I the only apprentice here?”

“Most knights don’t think it’s safe to bring an apprentice for a caravan run after what happened before the cold season.”

That didn’t make Kurgm feel any better. He glanced around at the trees, wondering if there was something watching them. The thought of a dragon swooping down and attacking them crossed his mind, and he turned his gaze to the sky.

“Don’t worry. If we’re going to be hit, it won’t be until after we’ve collected the food,” Master Ekla said.

Once again, that didn’t inspire confidence.

“How’s Apprentice Aonva?” Master Ekla asked, likely as a way to take his mind off the possibility of an attack.

“I think she’s feeling better. It’s hard to tell, though. Her spells are working again, but she doesn’t seem upset about what happened. It’s like she’s waiting for Roshil to feel better or something.”

“They’ve been close friends for a while, that’s not going to disappear overnight.”

“Roshil enchanted her. Why doesn’t that make a difference?”

He kept his voice down so the other knights wouldn’t overhear. The night Roshil had enchanted Aonva, he’d been told not to talk about it. Master Ekla had explained that it didn’t reflect well on the court or the apprentices. Roshil would be punished by the court, but if people knew that she in particular had done something, it would complicate matters.

Why treat her different? he’d asked.

Because she is different, Master Ekla had replied, and once again, wouldn’t elaborate.

Kurgm had gotten some explanation out of Aonva about Roshil. Roshil had been cursed by a dragon years ago, which was why her eyes and hair were the way they were. It was also why most people didn’t trust her, and why they had been shunned from the Flower Blooming Ceremony a few months ago. It didn’t bother Aonva at all, and the more time Kurgm spent around Roshil, the less it bothered him.

The horses started making noise. Some tossed their heads. The knights ran to tend to them.

“Hold!” Master Ekla called, holding up her hand.

The entire caravan stopped. People started asking questions, but the other knights got them to be quiet.

Master Ekla’s nostrils flared as she took breaths through her nose.

Is she smelling for something? Kurgm couldn’t see anything in the trees around the road, but if Master Ekla had a bad feeling, he knew enough to trust it.

She stared into the trees and smelled the air again. Then she spoke in a language he didn’t understand.

That’s not Arcane.

Something in the woods called back to her in the same language. She spoke to it again. While her tone didn’t sound like anything he’d heard before, her body language suggested that she was trying to negotiate with the thing in the woods.

After a time, it let out a satisfied growl (Kurgm thought that’s what it sounded like), then Master Ekla called for them to proceed.

“What just happened?” Kurgm asked as they progressed.

“Elder Wolf sent one of her people to keep an eye on us.”

“Who did what?”

“The forest is broken into tribes by species, and each one is led by an elder. There’s a large wolf stalking us through the trees. I told him who we were, and that we meant no harm. Just a normal food run.”

“Okay, but… how?”

“The Language of Nature.”

“Still doesn’t answer my question.”

“I’m not just a master knight.”

“You’re a master druid?”

“An apprentice at the moment, but in a few weeks, I’ll be a master.”

Despite this being news to Kurgm, it wasn’t a surprise. He knew her too well.

In the distance, he saw the farmlands. The trees opened up as they reached the end of the forest. Master Ekla glanced back at the trees, then whispered something.

“Saying bye to your new friend?” Kurgm asked.

“Something like that,” she replied.

They pulled up to the farm where farmhands were waiting for them. There also several more knights around the area, more than Kurgm had seen in previous runs.

Must be because of the incident.

“Come on,” Master Ekla said. “We load, then we get back.”

That was fine with Kurgm. He wanted to get back and see Aonva again. In the back of his mind, he was worried Roshil would take advantage of his absence and pull Aonva back in again. Was she okay without him? What if he couldn’t protect her this time either?

“Apprentice Kurgm, wake up!” Master Ekla called.

He jumped to attention as she handed him sacks of food, which he passed to one of the other knights. They formed a line, moving sacks between them and into the carts.

“That should be the last of it,” came another voice from within the barns. A man walked out and greeted them. When he saw Kurgm, he smiled.

Kurgm’s face lit up when he saw who it was.

“Uncle Amnadm!”

#VolumeTwo #AskingQuestions

Kurgm’s uncle smiled warmly at him when he saw him.

“Kurgm, how—”

“We have to keep moving,” Master Ekla interrupted. “Master Amnadm, either stay here or come back to the court, but don’t hold us up.”

“I’ll tag along,” he said, still smiling at Kurgm. “It’ll give me time to catch up with my favorite nephew.”

“I’m your only nephew.”

They fed the horses, which gave Kurgm time to talk to his uncle.

“I didn’t know you were back,” Kurgm said.

“I got back yesterday. I didn’t think I’d be here long enough to visit, and I didn’t want to show up and leave again. But seeing as you’re here, I guess I’ll stay as long as I can.”

“No, please,” Master Ekla said as she kept everything running, “don’t let the court inconvenience you.”

“You haven’t changed at all, Ekla.”

“Master Ekla, and he’s Apprentice Kurgm. I know it’s been a while, Master Amnadm, but I don’t think it’s been long enough that you could’ve forgotten that.”

Amnadm smiled despite Master Ekla’s icy tone. “Not at all, Master Ekla.” He winked at Kurgm, who had to bite back a laugh.

Master Ekla glared at him and got back to work on preparing the caravan to move back out.

“I hope she’s letting you have some fun,” Amnadm whispered when Master Ekla was farther away. “She’s always been a little uptight.”

“I know. Our Lord True Knight sort of raised us together. I guess I’m used to her.”

“How long have you been an apprentice now?”

“Almost three years.”

“If only my sister could see you. Apprentice Kurgm, the pride of Skwyr.”

Kurgm smiled modestly. His uncle had always had a way of talking that made everyone feel proud of themselves. Kurgm could never figure out how he did it. Maybe that’s what Aonva needed, someone to feel proud of her. From what he’d learned of her parents, they certainly didn’t. Was that why she kept going back to Roshil?

“We’re moving out!” Master Ekla called.

She patted the horses and whispered something. It sounded like the same language she’d used earlier. What had she called it? The Language of Nature? Kurgm was beginning to realize how little he knew about druids. He knew they had to sleep among nature to retain their powers, but only because most of the master druids in the court slept in the gardens. Some apprentices did too, as he’d learned when one of them had shouted (or barked?) at Roshil a few weeks ago.

Maybe they know something’s wrong with her, too.

“Best not keep her waiting,” Amnadm whispered. “Who knows what she’ll do to us? Probably lecture us on proper etiquette.”

Once again, Kurgm had to bite back a laugh. He straightened up when Master Ekla glared at them.

One the way back, Amnadm made conversation with some of the other knights. He laughed and joked with them, making friends wherever he went. While Master Ekla had always embodied service to the court, Amnadm had always been Kurgm’s ideal standard of servant of the people. He could make friends with anyone, and he usually did. Why couldn’t Kurgm be more like that?

While they walked, Master Ekla remained on alert. She called into the woods a few times, but nothing jumped out and attacked them. Kurgm was relieved. Even though he was armed and had training, he hated fighting, a fact that never bothered Master Ekla.

Most knights rarely see combat, but you have to be ready to defend the court and kingdom at a moment’s notice.

The walls of the court loomed ahead of them. He’d lived his entire life inside those walls. To him, they offered safety and shelter.

The gates opened up for them, and the caravan passed through. They walked the road up to the castle, then moved around back to the serving staff’s entrance, where they offloaded the food.

“Now that that’s done,” Amnadm said, “what shall we do with the rest of our day?”

“You can report to Our Lord True Knight,” Master Ekla said. “Apprentice Kurgm has class.”

“Of course,” Amnadm said. “We’ll have to catch up over dinner then. You’ll have to introduce me all your friends.”

Kurgm nodded, then Amnadm took his leave.

---

Master Ekla kept him busy the rest of the day. Every time he brought up the topic of his uncle, she found something else to discuss. It wasn’t until before dinner that Kurgm found Amnadm again.

“Come on!” Kurgm said, eager for him to meet Aonva. “I want you to meet my friend!”

Kurgm walked Amnadm down to the kitchens.

“What are we doing down here?” Amnadm asked. “You’re supposed to eat in the great hall with everyone else.”

“I usually eat down here,” Kurgm said.

“Hm.”

They reached the room outside the kitchens where the serving staff ate their meals. As Kurgm had learned early on, they had to serve the food upstairs (using magic that Aonva had explained to him many times in as many words as possible), so they never ate during dinner.

Aonva stood up when they walked in.

“Uncle Amnadm, this is Aonva. Aonva, this is Master Amnadm.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Aonva said, standing at attention.

“I’m sure.” Amnadm turned to Kurgm. “Kurgm, I know you grew up in the castle, but that doesn’t mean you need to make friends with every member of the staff. I’m sure this girl is nice, but you’re an apprentice of the court, a few years away from being a master. You can’t be bothering with serving girls.”

Aonva visibly shrank and hung her head.

“No, sorry,” Kurgm said. “This is Apprentice Aonva.”

Instead of the cheerful demeanor Kurgm expected of his uncle, the same uncertain expression remained. Was it uncertainty? Kurgm couldn’t tell. Despite his best efforts, he still wasn’t good at reading people like a knight was supposed to be. About the only person he could read was Master Ekla.

“I see. Then neither of you should be eating down here with the serving staff. You should be eating upstairs like apprentices.”

“We’re allowed to eat down here,” Kurgm said.

Amnadm glared down at him.

“You will eat upstairs like an apprentice. I don’t care what she does, but you will come with me.”

Kurgm exchanged glances with Aonva. She hated eating in the great hall. The noise gave her a headache, something she didn’t need. Would she be okay on her own? What if Roshil saw Kurgm eating alone and got to the kitchens before he could stop her? What if Aonva did go up with him, and Roshil decided to sit with them?

“I’m sorry,” he said to her.

“I’ll be okay,” she said softly.

Kurgm walked out of the room, with Amnadm close behind him.

“You should rethink who you spend time with.”

“What?”

“That girl will drag you down. Her kind always do.”

Kurgm didn’t understand what he meant.

“I’m guessing her parents don’t do much either.”

“They’re cooks, I think.”

“Exactly. Serving staff. Probably sent her here so they could live off the court’s kindness. Typical immigrants.”

“But—”

“Bywin girls are only good for practice. Find a nice Skwyr girl, or else people will never take you seriously when you finish your apprenticeship. That’s why you can’t be eating down in the kitchens either. Eat upstairs like an apprentice. Marry a good Skwyr girl, preferably from a good family. Scraping the bottom of the barrel just says you have no ambition, no plans for the future, no concerns about those you spend time with.”

“Aonva is nice. She’s smart, and she’s hardworking, and she knows everything about—”

“I’m sure she does. But when the stress gets too much for her, she’ll crack and leave the court. The Bywin culture doesn’t value hard work like ours does. She’ll have been raised on that culture by her parents, and won’t be able to handle the stress of ours.”

“I… I guess that makes sense.”

Was Aonva already starting to break? She kept wanting to go back to Roshil. That couldn’t be normal, could it?

“She… she was enchanted by another apprentice a few weeks ago. She hasn’t been the same since.”

“See? Timid can seem cute, but all it does is attract people who take advantage of it. If she isn’t having one problem, she’ll be having another. Once you forget about this incident, I’m sure they’ll be another.”

“It wasn’t her fault, though. It was Apprentice Roshil—”

“Of course it was. It doesn’t surprise me that your ‘friend’ made friends with the dragon girl. And let me tell you something about her. Dragons don’t curse just anyone, especially not in Skwyr. It didn’t drop out of the sky one day and decide to ruin her life. No, there must’ve been a reason for it. There always is with these sorts of things.”

“This… It’s happened before?”

And why wasn’t I told about it?

“Of course. There are plenty of mentally damaged people that worship dragons. She likely sought one out and got in over her head. Why would it have picked her otherwise?”

Kurgm had never thought about why Roshil had been cursed. He knew she was, but… did she ask it to do something to her?

“When it didn’t go her way, she decided to pick on the weakest apprentice she could find. You think she’ll stop at cursing just one apprentice? If you aren’t careful, you’ll be next. The court should never have let her in.”

They walked back to the great hall while Kurgm wrestled with his words.

#VolumeTwo #AskingQuestions